How a Marriage Survives a Cult

Photo: HBO Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames fell in love in a cult, though neither of them knew it at the time. “We were walking around thinking that we had the best thing in town — we have the best tools, the best method for personal growth,” says Edmondson. They were both members of a group called NXIVM , a multilevel marketing company offering personal and professional development seminars that founder Keith Raniere promised would help participants live ‘more joyful’ lives.

The Cut spoke with Nippy and Sarah about married life after NXIVM and how they are learning reimagine their relationship from the other side. The interview that follows has been edited for length and clarity. In an article about relationships after leaving cults, psychologist Lorna Goldberg writes that “after couples’ departure from the group, the gradual unfreezing of their cult personalities and the simultaneous recovery of suppressed aspects of their precult personalities can lead to new conflicts within their marriage.

Are there ways you interact in your relationship that feel like holdovers from your time in NXIVM, and how have you worked to overcome them? S: I have a tendency to get anxious. It’s why I joined ESP in the first place. And recently I had an episode — I took an over-the-counter sleep aid to help me sleep and, long story short, it basically sent me into a three-day panic attack. I felt so crazy. It just felt like I couldn’t function. I couldn’t make decisions. I later found out that the sleep aid had been pulled from the shelves for causing delusions and heart attacks and things like that. At the time, Nippy just shut down.

TheVowHBO Watched THE VOW. And I say= WOW!

Nippy?

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