History added that while it often takes decades for it to accurately parse the accomplishments and shortcomings of a presidency, it’s “good to go on this one” and vowed to jump at the first chance it gets to take a definitive position on the former commander-in-chief’s leadership abilities and the substance of his policies in light of readily available data on the U.S. debt, the environment, citizens’ standard of living, and outcomes of foreign conflicts.
“By the time that son of a bitch was reelected in 2004, I was already itching to parallel the Iraq War and the Vietnam War in rigorous intellectual detail,” said the academic study of the past, noting that it is equally impatient to compare and contrast the administration’s response to Hurricane Katrina with previous disaster relief efforts.
History went on to say that it had already sized up numerous aspects of the Bush legacy for in-depth scholarly appraisal, admitting that it was eager to “have its way” with Bush’s stances on stem cells, drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, the near doubling of the national debt, the Battle of Tora Bora, warrantless wiretapping by the NSA, the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Medicare Part D, and the 2003 “Mission Accomplished” speech.
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to just say ‘fuck it’ and issue a definitive ranking of George W. Bush’s presidency?” asked the chronicle of all human events. “But at least the longer I wait, the more I’ll be able to savor my evaluation of the Bush era’s political, economic, and societal impacts when the time finally comes to rate this cocksucker. God only knows what’ll happen when I start doing that.
I'll just say patriotically with hopes of a better future in prosperity for all in the land of hope, no Bueno habla importante Herman's es mal habla e no mas lees dirececho 'The Onion'.
Can't wait to see the progressives in Congress eulogize him in glowing terms.
History having anxiety induced breakdown thinking about Trump…
Lock him up!
Really? I never hesitated. I just went right for it. It's pretty easy, actually.
WMD's...= W. meant destruction
I’d rather the onion write recent history.there will be a lot of bullshit but at least it will be sorta funny.
Henry Kissinger
The average probably American won't fare too well either.
As far as modern presidents go, he's definitely in the Carter/Nixon tier, Better than Trump, worse than Barack, nowhere near Ike and FDR
Didn't the onion used to be funny?
Steve_Thoughts lmao
let's play... blame the intelligence game.
At least he can duck a pair of shoes..
idk i love this paintings
George: 'LIBRARY. L. I. B. um.... The point is don't get fooled again!'
why wait?
So far it seems history is saying, 'I miss W. At least he wasn't Trump.' History sucks.
there will be known critiques, unknown critiques and unknown unknown critiques
The great dilemma Do bad paintings cancel out war crimes?
KevinMKruse
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