Harriette Cole: He acted hurt, but he has been hurting me for years

Recently, though, I have come to see this man for who he is: an opportunist, a user, someone who thinks mostly about himself. This hurts to realize, but it also helps me create some distance.

Tell him that you know you haven’t stood up for yourself enough in your friendship. Don’t fault him. Instead, say that you have turned a corner and want more in your life, especially from someone as dear to you as he is. Ask if he is ready to step up and be a better friend. If not, you should continue to be reserved. Don’t allow space for him to use you anymore.

I am curious, though. I don’t think I am doing anything differently. What I see is that he is being kinder to me and far less judgmental.

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