Harriette Cole: I’m past due to marry, and my family doesn’t like my pick

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They say he’s unsuitable because he doesn’t have a job.

: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for eight months, and I think he might be the one I want to marry. I am 32 years old, and it feels well past due.They believe he is unsuitable for me and have expressed their concerns about our relationship.

Is it possible to find some middle ground and help my family see the positive aspects of our relationship, or should I prioritize their opinions over my own feelings?: Your family wants what is best for you. That includes making sure your eyes are wide open as you enter a marriage, which is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.

Get him to talk about these things so that you can determine if you share values and goals. Do this for yourself, even if it is prompted by your parents.: My mom is pressuring me to enter into an arranged marriage with someone I do not love.My mother has threatened to disown me if I do not comply with her wishes regarding the arranged marriage. I feel torn between following my heart to maintain a relationship with my partner and honoring my mother’s expectations.

Assure her that you still love and honor her, even as you don’t want to participate in an arranged marriage.

 

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