Friend In Passenger Seat Working In Some Creative Flourishes In Ghostwritten Text Message To Driver’s Mom

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 25 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 13%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

PAPILLION, NE— Tapping deep into his imagination as he composed the message from the passenger seat, local man James Burditt was reportedly working in some creative flourishes Tuesday in the ghostwritten text to his friend’s mom. “Don’t get me wrong, what he told me to type was a good start, but there are a few weak points we could definitely refine,” said Burditt, who assured his friend he was just trying to get past the lock screen as he pulled up an online thesaurus to look for another word for “good.” “‘Be home at 11’ is just, I don’t know, a bit stiff. I’m going to tack on an ‘if that sounds alright with you’ to soften things up. Now the only question is if I say ‘I love you, mom.’ Is that too on the nose? Maybe I’ll do a heart emoji instead. It’s better to show than tell.” At press time, Burditt had decided to tell his friend’s mother her son had been injured in a terrible accident after realizing it was easier to write in his own voice.\n

PILLION, NE— Tapping deep into his imagination as he composed the message from the passenger seat, local man James Burditt was reportedly working in some creative flourishes Tuesday in the ghostwritten text to his friend’s mom.

“Don’t get me wrong, what he told me to type was a good start, but there are a few weak points we could definitely refine,” said Burditt, who assured his friend he was just trying to get past the lock screen as he pulled up an online thesaurus to look for another word for “good.” “‘if that sounds alright with you’ to soften things up. Now the only question is if I say ‘I love you, mom.’ Is that too on the nose? Maybe I’ll do a heart emoji instead. It’s better to show than tell.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Its funny because we all know the driver will just do the txt themselves and swerve around a bit 'just this once because its important and im a better driver than those other idiots.'

Anonymous 😂😂😂

That’s actually kind of funny, congratulations Onion.

LOL omg DONT tell them !!! This is how I fix relationships ✨

“Milf” is not a creative flourish.

Key role of that seat

I have literally never felt so seen. Not sure I like it. 🤔

“I see what you mean, mom... the scenic route is beautiful!”

This is so wholesome

Yes.

Emojis are important

😂

Teamwork

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Metallica To Screen First Concert Of 2020 At Drive-Ins Across The U.S. And CanadaMetallica will screen its first concert of 2020 at drive-ins across the U.S. and Canada I thought about going, but 115 seems like alot. I will just use my napster to listen to it. Until Lars has an ego meltdown.
Source: Forbes - 🏆 394. / 53 Read more »

Toronto Film Fest Plans Digital, Drive-In, 'Open-Air' Screenings for 2020 Edition'At the drive-ins and open-air cinema, audiences can expect the same high-quality viewing experience as in past years,' the festival said in a statement I miss 😢 Drive-Ins 😉😊😚☺ I need to go; please tell my mouse man Joel Z. deadmau5 PS I Miss You Dude So what. Who cares?
Source: THR - 🏆 411. / 53 Read more »

Roman Kemp's heartbreaking tribute to Joe Lyons as he still texts late friendCapital Breakfast host Roman Kemp has posted a moving tribute to his late friend and radio producer Joe Lyons and says he still texts his 'best mate' and 'partner'
Source: Mirror Celeb - 🏆 476. / 51 Read more »

Roman Kemp returns to work for first time after death of Capital FM friendRoman Kemp and his breakfast show co-stars have taken the week off after learning a close friend of the team had died
Source: Mirror Celeb - 🏆 476. / 51 Read more »

FTC commissioner's message to working parents after testifying while breastfeeding: 'The stress is real'Federal Trade Commissioner Rebecca Kelly Slaughter opens up about breastfeeding her baby while testifying before the Senate and the message that she hopes it sends to other working parents. MakeIt MakeIt Welcome to the HolyWordExpo . Jesus is coming.
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »