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Chicago PD Condemns Black Lives Matter For Creating Violent Vortex Of Wind That Destroyed Property

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CHICAGO—Promising that those responsible for the widespread damage would soon be held accountable, Chicago Police Department officials condemned Black Lives Matter protesters Tuesday for creating a violent vortex of wind that destroyed property. “In summoning severe wind gusts to uproot trees and tear roofs off buildings, Black Lives Matter protesters have committed a reprehensible act of violence against our city,” said Superintendent of Police David Brown, who questioned how ripping down power lines and sending tree trunks flying into parked cars even aligned with the group’s purported values. “Our constitution may grant us the freedom of assembly, but controlling pressure systems is never an acceptable form of protest. We have it on good authority that some of these guys were moving through the city at speeds of 80 mph. Darkening the sky and creating powerful displays of thunder and lightning is nothing but a fear tactic. And, of course, they’re now going to expect us to help repair the damage they’ve inflicted on their own communities.” At press time, Brown had also condemned antifa members in rural Illinois for sucking up cows into the sky and shooting them 100 feet through the air. \n

CHICAGO—Promising that those responsible for the widespread damage would soon be held accountable, Chicago Police Department officials condemned Black Lives Matter protesters Tuesday for creating a violent vortex of wind that destroyed property.

. Darkening the sky and creating powerful displays of thunder and lightning is nothing but a fear tactic. And,their own communities.” At press time, Brown had also condemned a ntifa members in rural Illinois for sucking up cows into the sky and shooting them 100 feet through the air.

 

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😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂👏

You guys are bullshit

MSNBC is claiming Russia did it, and that the wind is Putin's puppet.

You know this is satire because the Chicago PD would never condemn BLM for anything.

Can someone please explain why this is funny or clever? Thanks

Likewise BLM blamed whites for the Vortex.

My cat is intrigued by this development:

Ahhh,breaking windows and looting was getting boring.

I heard it was two Nigerian brothers in Maga hats

Is this a parody of a parody account?

0_Sacchidanand I don't know. Chicago always has been the windy city.

Bruh lol

'Did you just hear the weather forecaster say the sky looks dark? LOCK AND LOAD BOYS'

Chicago gets looted over a fake news story and you take Antifa's angle.

Oh man you guys....too soon maybe?

mtn_mama_ Another example how the left can’t meme, not even the formerly memeiest of the memesters

US idiots have no limit 🤣

Lame

Fake news. This was obviously a White House announcement.

Swing and a miss, Onion

🤣🤣🤣

It would be more funny if they blamed Trump or COVID.

The airbenders

'The Onion is Still Relevant'

Black ice, now black wind?.....when will this madness end? realDonaldTrump help!

This is accurate

This ain’t it.

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