BOCA RATON, FL—Deciding it was about time they had “the talk,” local father Timothy Bennet pulled his 13-year-old son Eric aside Monday to explain how sex with his mom works.
a bond between two individuals after 23 years. It may be slow at first, but once it gets going, oh, man, it’s all you can do to hang on for dear life and keep telling yourself there’s nothing better in the world.” Bennet concluded the father–son discussion by alluding to, and then suddenly backing away from, the idea that there may be instructional videos with further details about sexual intercourse with his mother.
Uh, step-mom, right?
'You promised you wouldn't look at my browser history!'
😂
DevinNunesMulet 🫨
'It's okay, Dad. Mom already told me about how sex with Bobby Johnson's father works, and I know yours won't compare.'
Should toss him some stepmom/dad/sis videos from porn sites, quite the rage nowadays.
Son throws up in mouth smashes hands over ears, runs out, loud voice “WLAAAANAAALAAAALAAA” to scrub visual from his brain
Well, we were both at University……
'Don't worry, dad. I already know.' 'Oh, Oedipus, you kill me.'
So I get her into a position I playfully call 'The Pile-Driver'.....
Better teach him how a relationship works. The sex part he can easily get from the internet.
Ok, 'Aiden', what do you know about Pandas?
janemarielynch 🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻
Wait. He teaching him to take over?
HacksawIs
The look on the kid's face says it all. 🤣
'This information will be useful soon, Oedipus.'
Like he knows.
Well son, we'll start off light. Let me tell you about the ol' Arizona Tailpipe.
Step 1: drink malt liquor
My father explained sex with my mom as Doggie Style: he’d sit up and beg and she’d roll over and play dead.
That picture 🤌
:-(
Mom's boyfriend already had this talk with him
it works whenever she doesn't have a headache.
First, she's a naughty, naughty girl....
Video game troll offers to explain in chat how sex with player's mother works
Such a good father.
“Just ask the neighbor”
It could be worse. I accidentally walked in on my mom and her BF. She told me the night before to wake them up at a certain time. They were already more 'up' than I needed to see.
The Onion once again nails it
At least he’s not explaining how sex with his daughter works
He looks a little shocked
Onion with a banger.. Its been a while
Just show him the video.
Is this what people consider news these days? What a joke. I'm sure this used to be a fairly respected news source too. 'America's finest news source' my a*s.
Doggy style. He begs while she rolls over and plays dead.
That kid turned out just fine.
Is Dr. Oz the father?
'Sorry Dad but I'm not gonna ask Mom to do that'
Son's face : Black it out instantly
DrOz
one day, son, you're going to need to learn how to fuck your mother.
i like the double entendre
Sounds like an under appreciated highlight of having kids 😂
And she's a glazer. Look up butake.
How sad
Gold
Son, can you please imagine for a moment an oil pump in a hilly landscape.
Hope he also explained that men can't get pregnant.
Apologise
I think The Onion has been following me like The Truman Show since the ‘90’s…
A picture is worth a thousand words. Plus, children learn by imitating adults.
Why does the guy on the left look like Denis Villeneuve.
I would love to see this kids therapy bills
The look on the sons face is priceless 🤣
I want to hook up with my mom
Peppermint Schnapps comes up a lot.
What a good dad
Annually, begrudgingly.
Dads—Fucking moms for years!
😂😂
He won't understand nothin'. He needs a demonstration.
The look on the kid's face is spot on.
Well, first step: Mom gets a headache...
It's even worse when you stumble across their video online.....and you don't see her face till the 'finishing move' at the end.
“Just watch this video, it’ll explain everything for preforming sex. Your Mother and I filmed this at the getaway cabin last year.”
Soon he'll use this knowledge to get it going with his friend's mothers in a power move attempt
'no im telling you dad im a kinaesthetic learner!!'
Your mom prefers doggy style in the weekends son. Thought you ought to know
At least he has the decency to be married and if I may add to a woman! Can not be taken for granted nowadays.
'And then your mom said, don't pull out, I love creampies. And that's how you were born little fella.'
Always an uncomfortable talk.
Well some your mother likes red space crafts. I'm not sure how it all works my self.
That headline cracked me up!
Mom’s a real hair grabber.
Lame
amirhimself
Best way to ensure your child practices abstinence is to put a solid picture of your sex life in their minds.
Large toys help.
'Dad, the mailman told me all this last week.'
What ?
Stepmom?
Sweet home Alabama!
I already know dad. I told sis to ask mom to teach her that thing with the tongue.
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