FatFace Christmas Jumper Pattern Resembles Breasts

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It’s not quite a breast, but it is breastish—a suggestion, a whisper, a soupçon.

, and after careful consideration, I almost agree with their assessment. Up close, the sweater’s pattern suggests a Fair Isle designer’s wildest hallucination— a deviation from the traditional patterns in exchange for something a little more avant-garde. If you squint and look at the little red splotches, they sort of look like a crude rendition of the state of Texas, as if drawn from memory by someone who has looked at a map once.

It’s not quite a breast, but it is breastish—a suggestion, a whisper, a soupçon. It’s subtle enough to pass muster through whatever stages of inspection mass-market knitwear endures before it hits retailers, but not subtle enough to escape the notice of consumers.From a distance, though, the sweater reveals its true nature. Those aren’t breasts, and they certainly aren’t boobs; the former implies realism and the latter, a complete lack of understanding of female anatomy.

 

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So dumb. Find something worthwhile to do with your time.

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