Experts Concerned Pale Russian Mystic Constantly At Trump’s Side May Attempt To Influence 2020 Election
WASHINGTON—Increasingly troubled about the role the self-proclaimed visionary and healer might play in the presidential race, intelligence experts expressed concerns Friday that Volokov Molchalin, the pale Russian mystic constantly at President Donald Trump ’s side, may attempt to influence the 2020 election. “While we’re unsure exactly what Volokov is whispering into Trump’s ear—or if it’s a known language at all—and it’s the consensus of the intelligence community that he likely intends to meddle in the upcoming election, perhaps by using his self-professed hypnotic powers to sway the American public,” said National Intelligence Director Joseph Maguire, noting that the long-bearded Eastern Orthodox prophet had enjoyed unprecedented access to the Oval Office since laying his hands on the president’s thigh in early June and allegedly curing him of an internal hemorrhage. “What’s more unsettling is that Volokov has only grown more brazen in his attempts to alter the president’s behavior, encouraging Trump to purify himself by self-flagellating, filling the West Wing with frankincense, or repeating occult incantations until his eyes roll back in a mystical trance. We’ve also received reports that Volokov can read minds, which would obviously make any counterintelligence efforts difficult, if not impossible.” At press time, terrified officials had escalated their warnings after a failed assassination attempt in which repeated stabbings, a gunshot wound to the head, and an apparent drowning in the freezing Potomac River failed to end the Russian mystic’s life.
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Isaacbmarshall Rasputin Trump insists the guy's Ukrainian. Ra-Ra Rasputin Rasputin returns 😂 I saw a guy that looked like this retrieving used hamburders from the trash at Burder King. No! The other guy! isn't that Slartibartfast? Okay, I think I know this guy. We need to get some extremely dedicated assassins, as in, they set out to kill the guy, but when it comes to deciding which specific weapon or trap to choose, they will all get excited and say 'let's do all of them, like, at once! Can we do that?'
Bulletin: Putin wants him back & has no idea how his American Pet stole him, though the last time GOP members of Congress were in Moscow, the cabal was overheard chanting & then the mystic was gone. Putin plans to steal him back leaving the Americans to go on another Witch hunt!
NYT Report: Russia is interfering in the 2020 election, Putin still favors Trump'The intelligence community told the House Intelligence Committee... that Russia was most certainly interfering in the 2020 election, in the Democratic primaries, trying to sow chaos. And in fact Putin still favors Trump.' - NYT's Adam Goldman RUSSIA WINS AGAIN! So the Russians are making the democratic candidates say dumb and crazy things in the debates? of course he does!
Heard he's the lover of the Russian queen Maybe he can help manage Don Jr’s inability to clot stupid thoughts from hemorrhaging out of his mouth otherhalfpod Prefer this new guy to Miller any day. Thats an alien👽 Dang either it's either Rasputin back from the dead or Svengali. Damn that's it. Trump 2020! Believe it people.
SovietSergey Ivanka lurks everywhere SovietSergey I don't know about Russian mystics but there are reports Trump spends a lot of alone time with his blonde crazy religious advisor lady. Oh damn, someone should poison him! I hope it works.
Russia is looking to help Trump win in 2020, election security official told lawmakersThe intelligence community's top election security official delivered a briefing to lawmakers last week warning them that the intelligence community believes Russia is already taking steps to interfere in the 2020 election with the goal of helping President Donald Trump win, three sources familiar with the matter tell CNN. What did you expect? No one is surprised are they? Laughable
✡️ He's not a Russian, I believe that is God looking over his shoulder. 🙏✝️ the donald already knows who he’s voting for Just don’t try and kill him Oh, oh! I know how this one ends! Yay!
Trump Is Mad Russia Is Interfering in the 2020 Election on His Behalf: ReportFearing that Democrats would “weaponize” the information, Trump berated the intel head responsible for informing lawmakers of the interference. No he is not. FFS!! Vote for JoeBiden After the disaster of the Dems debate, and the horrible candidates running, of course the MSM and Dems immediately turn to Russian collusion. We see the pattern. What? He is not thrilled that Congress was briefed about the interference is what you obviously meant to say.
Lawmakers were briefed that Russia is looking to help Trump win in 2020The intelligence community's top election security official delivered a briefing to lawmakers last week warning them that the intelligence community believes Russia is already taking steps to interfere in the 2020 election with the goal of helping President Donald Trump win, three sources familiar with the matter tell CNN. 😂😂😂😂 if at first you dont succeed - try try again. Imagine that.
Trump decided to replace his top spy chief after his aide told Congress that Russia is interfering in 2020 to help Trump winTrump was led to falsely believe that Rep. Adam Schiff was fed exclusive information that could help Democrats if released publicly.
Pelosi: Trump politicized intel community after Russia election briefingHer remarks came after the New York Times reported that the House Intelligence Committee received a briefing that Russia planned to interfere in the 2020 elections. Nancy? Really? Nobody really believes this right? A lot of that 'dismay' stuff going around now--sort of like the coronavirus.