Entirety Of Objectionable Human Behavior Explained To Toddler As Person Acting Silly

BATON ROUGE, LA—Noting the phrase’s ubiquity as an answer to almost every uncomfortable societal question, sources confirmed Monday that the full range of objectionable human behavior was explained to local toddler Oliver Jordan as a person acting silly.

“Everything from mental illness to public drunkenness to a screaming match is waved away as someone just being a silly goose,” said observers, confirming that the same label was conferred on strangers, peers, and family members engaging in any remotely questionable activities. “Whether it’s someone sleeping in the park or begging for change, grandma saying something racist, or a murder on television, it can all be comfortably placed in the rubric of playing around and being a big goofball.

Everyone's just in a silly mood

Area Toddler Issues Statement To United Nations Announcing That If People Don't Stop Acting Silly, He Will Scream And Scream And Scream And Hold His Breath Until He Turns Purple, And Then They'll Be Sorry

DeSatan

Hitler was a real goofball.

That Osama bin Laden was a real Grumpy Gus

Who has kids and never did this?

A classic

'that's a Republican and we don't do that…'

'Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little… funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing.'

Stop & Kiss is still my fav The Onion report 🙌 Bring it back :))

Ted Bundy? Now that was one silly guy!

The whole Trump phenom explained in one tweet

...behavior (accurately, kindly) explained...

You're mom and me in the bedroom - silly Archie Bunker - silly Slavery - more silliness Monty Python - deadly serious

Must I add objectionable to my employment applications?

IT WAS A JOKE!!!!

You guys are supposed to be satirical. This is too accurate. Lol

How dare you, the parents IQ is clearly 50 points above the -100 average ‼️

'I firmly believe that the entirety of what something is cannot be truly appreciated, until it ends.' -Markiplier Entirety

Values ​​are planted, grown and fruitful

that ending though

Speaking of acting silly...

Lmao Elon you absolute clown

Twitter is a joke. I bet this 'Official' onion can't even make me cry when chopped

Good thing the onion is dubble verified lol

It's called liberal media

Fav

Thugs, bullies, and despots permanently referred to as 'Mr. Goofy Pants' by overly sheltered child, known...as Steve Bannon.

Where's the lie, tho?

DistortBot

That's the exact plot of 'Life Is Beautiful'.

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