If you’re out at a bar, only order these drinks if you want to be hated forever.
Between bad tips, drunk customers, and the guilt that comes with slowly poisoning everyone they serve, bartenders don’t need more to worry about. If you’re out at a bar, only order these drinks if you want to be hated forever.
AdvertisementList slidesSteak MartiniIt’s hard enough to make a martini without having to cook the rim fillet a perfect medium rare.AdvertisementList slidesMocha Cookie Crumble FrappuccinoThere’s nothing worse than when it’s a busy day and they have to crush ice, make cookies, and clean the frappuccino machine afterwards.
AdvertisementList slidesVodka-Filled Cow CarcassMaybe no one’s asked for it yet, but that doesn’t mean bartenders don’t live in fear of that terrible day.AdvertisementA Drink Thrown In Their FaceList slidesA Drink Thrown In Their FaceCome on, it was just a joke! Don’t be such a hardass.Read more: The Onion »
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You're right on about the old fashioned. All that, and you couldn't even use a picture of a piña colada *with* said umbrella? It's even more dangerous than sending men to the arctic to harvest that super-clear ice that rich people like. 'Sorry, we only have four hydrogen bombs in stock today. Would you like a glass of water instead? Those four bombs should be enough for a small glass, but without ice or a teeny umbrella.'
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How's it make sense? If you're drunk enough doesn't matter, it's only about false self confidence anyways. Bar tenders hate making Bloody Marys even when it's not before closing time, so it's even better if you play extra Bambi eyes wide eyed wonder, what?!, I'm feeling healthy! Dozen Bloody Marys, five minutes before the bar closes, as you watch in fake obliviousness & wonderment.
Sex on a Beached Whale ...... A lifetime of preparation for 32 seconds of furious disappointment. Next round on me! WATERS ALL AROUNF
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