Drinks That Bartenders Hate The Most And Why

It’s hard enough to make a martini without having to cook the rim fillet a perfect medium rare.

There’s nothing worse than when it’s a busy day and they have to crush ice, make cookies, and clean the frappuccino machine afterwards.Maybe no one’s asked for it yet, but that doesn’t mean bartenders don’t live in fear of that terrible day.Come on, it was just a joke! Don’t be such a hardass.

The ones served to Cosby

Water.

I was making good money as a bartender but yeah, regulars dying regularly got to be too much

Hey, the 'frozen martini' entry here is missing the word 'in'.

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Pitiful attempt at humor...The Onion has lost its way...yikes

Spot on.

No health insurance

Ok onion bite the bullet . I cut and serve meat all day !you serve me booze all night, bingo

I know this was supposed to be funny but just thought I'd throw out a real drink that we bartenders hate. Order a Ramos Fizz and watch our eyes roll back to the base of our skulls.

Finally an onion post that at least tries to be funny I thought they turned serious but in a weird way

tips should be band

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Lmao 🤣

Covid with lime is a drink now .

My favorite drink to order--though it's not particularly tasty--is the Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall, Mexican-style. Basically, an alcoholic graveyard; each part of the name tells you an ingredient.

frozen drinks

I want my drink on fire or with a shaved chocolate twist on it and I want it now.

Gin fizz

Bartenders don't hate drinks, they hate me and other The Onion readers.

Water

A Cosmopolitan to die for!

Milk

Vodka-Filled Cow Carcass

MitchWestphal

Anything with garlic

Grill me some pineapple for a pineapple mule plz

The guy who orders a 'Cape Cod' because he's too much of a pussy to say he wants a vodka cran

I'm going to guess that an old fashioned is one of them

The look you get when ordering a Mojito😳

You're in the wrong profession if you don't want to shake. Ironically, not for a traditional martini.

Dumbest slideshow I've ever seen, but I once had a friend who intentionally tried to order drinks that he thought the bartender wouldn't know. He had a decent success rate.

A single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.

If you want mother's milk it's a lot easier to get from Starbucks than a bar.

That looks good right now ngl

Anything that I order.

shaken not stirred

That list just descended into chaos

Capri Sun’s straw hole 😂

Oh god...I googled 'steak martini' and its a thing. Just fuck this world. Fuck it right off. 🤪

This just seems like a normal Buzzfeed article

Did an intern write this

Bloody Mary’s are junk

Long Island Ice Tea

Much worse if it's well done

Reverse Sloppy Steak!

Killensteak looking at you

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You're right on about the old fashioned.

All that, and you couldn't even use a picture of a piña colada *with* said umbrella?

It's even more dangerous than sending men to the arctic to harvest that super-clear ice that rich people like.

'Sorry, we only have four hydrogen bombs in stock today. Would you like a glass of water instead? Those four bombs should be enough for a small glass, but without ice or a teeny umbrella.'

How's it make sense? If you're drunk enough doesn't matter, it's only about false self confidence anyways. Bar tenders hate making Bloody Marys even when it's not before closing time, so it's even better if you play extra Bambi eyes wide eyed wonder, what?!, I'm feeling healthy!

Dozen Bloody Marys, five minutes before the bar closes, as you watch in fake obliviousness & wonderment.

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Next round on me! WATERS ALL AROUNF

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