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Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of Family

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THOMASVILLE, GA—While admitting that he relies on members of the family for food and shelter and is often included in household activities and family photographs, local 6-year-old golden retriever Pepper told reporters Friday that he in no way considers himself part of the O’Donnell family. “Hey, they’re not bad people, and I appreciate that they let me ride in the car sometimes, but do I think of them as my own family members? God, no,” the canine said while scratching behind his right ear with his hind leg, adding that he had no say in the matter when he was adopted and spends as much time as possible in the backyard to distance himself from the O’Donnells. “Have you seen these guys? They’re kind of loud and obnoxious, they sit on that couch all the time looking at their phones, and they’re not at all into throwing around the tennis ball. Just look at [father] Rob [O’Donnell]—guy’s a complete mess and can’t even walk to the park without getting winded. No way I’m one of them.” At press time, Pepper’s stance was reaffirmed when Denise O’Donnell made him sit and beg for several moments before letting him have a piece of cheese.

 

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tomdelonge this is how i imagine my life if tom delonge was my dad and i was a golden retriever

He's tired of the wife only seeing him as a ex object.

He wanted a Latin family.

But he still humps their leg without their consent like they’re family.

This headline misspelled 'cat.'

This makes me sadder than if it was a people

It must identify as a cat.

Nobody ever asks me if I want to watch Animal Planet.

tomdelonge “Hey, they’re not bad people, and I appreciate that they let me ride in the car sometimes, but do I think of them as my own family members? God, no,” the canine said while scratching behind his right ear with his hind leg...”

Say what now

Bad dog.

A descendant of the lone wolf.

I am a dog and I find this offensive. Warf!

The cat's plan was working to perfection

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