Dear Care and Feeding: I’m Ready to Break Up With My Best Friend. But I Don’t Want to Lose Her Daughter.

My husband and I were having a discussion tonight regarding what to do when one of us is out with our toddler and need to run into Target, etc. Previously we would have brought our child in with us, but in the age of coronavirus and during a phase when this toddler thinks it’s hilarious to lick things, it seems safer to leave them in the car with a toy, phone, or something else to entertain them. Mainly we are concerned someone will call CPS.

We have a wonderful 21-month-old son, whom I will refer to as Lennon, who has shown a keen interest in music since he was an infant. We listen to all kinds of music with him. In addition to the ubiquitous “Baby Shark” and “Baa-Baa Black Sheep,” he also enjoys Bach and Ella Fitzgerald. When he was 10 months old, we started taking him to weekly Music Together classes—group singing and instrument sessions for babies.

Since then, whenever Lennon has asked for “Otyta,” we would just sing or play other music and he would forget about his original request. But today he asked for it again, and very insistently. We asked him to tell us more about the song, and he talked about the ponies. We explained that whenever he’s heard the song before, he hasn’t enjoyed it, and asked if perhaps he’d like to hear another song? But he wasn’t having it.

For the most part, our son is a well-behaved, bubbly, and goofy little fellow. But “Otyta” really brings something out in him, and I’m not sure what it is or what it means. What do you think is going on? It feels like he’s being a bit masochistic in seeking out what seems to be emotionally traumatic music.

Can you trust her?

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