Dear Care and Feeding: I’m Pregnant, and People Keep Asking How Dilated I Am

My 5-month-old baby girl is great! She loves to eat, and she loves to sleep—you can’t ask for more than that!

My problem is that other new parents will always ask about said eating and sleeping, looking to commiserate because they’re having problems … and I’ve just got nothing. I’ve worked on making my answers sympathetic and commiserating without really explicitly talking about my baby. Still, very often they ask direct and demanding questions like “How much did she sleep last night?” and “Did you deal with enormous pain and scabbing when you first started breastfeeding?” .

How can I better deal with this? Is avoiding this type of friendship the answer? The absolute last thing I want to do is make other parents feel guilty, so should I refuse to answer if they ask such direct and negative questions? But how do you do that gracefully?It’s always tricky dealing with someone who needs to commiserate about XYZ when XYZ hasn’t given you the same level of trouble, and few people seem to be as triggered when this happens as parents who’ve come across someone having an...

Surely there is something that has caused you some grief or stress about new parenthood—perhaps the loss of certain activities or a particular sensitivity to the smell of a dirty diaper? Lean into it and complain as if it’s a more challenging matter than it actually is. Or just be dishonest and pretend that you’ve had some of the same experiences that these parents want to gripe about. Why? Because misery loves company, and that’s all these friends want from you right now.

Or order some custom sarcastic t-shirts 'It's a baby, not a public inquisition!' 'What's inside of me is none of your business' 'Unless you want to pay to raise this baby, don't ask me about it'

That's why they make sarcastic t-shirts to wear during pregnancy. People read them and shut up.

Pretty simple. Tell them it’s none of their business

I kid, I kid.

Just have the baby already.

“Not wanting to talk about that kind of stuff. I’ll take some ice cream, though.”

Oh BS! No one ever does that!

Don’t answer

You can’t. You just ignore their impertinence and practice snappy retorts if they won’t let it go.

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