Dear Abby: Mom is not supportive of transgender teenager

7/1/2022 1:15:00 PM

Dear Abby: Mom is not supportive of transgender teenager

@Topstories, Dear-Abby

Dear Abby: Mom is not supportive of transgender teenager

Despite telling her my new name and pronouns, she refuses to refer to me that way even when we are alone.

Every time I bring it up, she gets quiet or changes the subject. I love her and she loves me, but it breaks my heart to see her ignore who I am, and I know she won’t back me up if the rest of my family finds out. I feel hopeless. What do I do to make her understand?

-- TRUE SELF IN GEORGIADEAR TRUE SELF:Parents usually want to protect their children. They can also be misinformed or confused about the issue of being a trans person. The announcement may be hard to accept because many individuals have known they’re trans for a long time but hesitated to tell others, including their parents. The revelation can be awkward and challenging to respond to with patience, love and care.

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(I can’t tell the rest of my family; they would disown me.I returned to my grandmother, who raised me, and tried to get a job.Updated: Jun.Dear Abby: He punishes me for being a good mom, and then gaslights me DEAR MOM: Write your son and tell him you are trying to understand what has caused the rift between you.

) Every time I bring it up, she gets quiet or changes the subject. I love her and she loves me, but it breaks my heart to see her ignore who I am, and I know she won’t back me up if the rest of my family finds out. I currently live in a women’s shelter with my children, and I finally got a job. I feel hopeless. | Published: Jun. What do I do to make her understand? -- TRUE SELF IN GEORGIA DEAR TRUE SELF: Parents usually want to protect their children. I want a divorce, but he won’t talk about it, and threatens not to send money to support me and the children. They can also be misinformed or confused about the issue of being a trans person. I returned to my grandmother, who raised me, and tried to get a job.

The announcement may be hard to accept because many individuals have known they’re trans for a long time but hesitated to tell others, including their parents. He keeps telling me how much money he makes now and that he can get us a nice place where he is, or he can come stay a whole week with us when he’s off. By Abigail Van Buren DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of two small children. The revelation can be awkward and challenging to respond to with patience, love and care. Take your mom to a PFLAG meeting, if she’s willing to go. When I tell him this, he gets angry and hangs up, but then calls back the next day to say the same thing. It can make a huge difference for parents, and it’s what I recommend for you. I couldn’t find one quickly because we went into quarantine and my uncles made me move out. To find a local chapter, visit pflag. (The last time I lived with him, he “accidentally” knocked our son into the couch and walked out. He doesn’t send much, but I have enough gas to get everywhere during the week.

org/find . PFLAG booklets like “Our Trans Loved Ones” or “Guide to Being a Trans Ally” could be enlightening for her (and you). Any advice? — DONE FOR GOOD DEAR DONE: Your husband persists the way he has been because he’s trying to wear you down to the point that you will reunite with him. I want a divorce, but he won’t talk about it, and threatens not to send money to support me and the children. For your own emotional support, find community that is accepting and affirming -- PFLAG, a faith community or a transmasculine support group -- to gain confidence and safety. And do not underestimate the power of “chosen family. If there are social workers connected to the shelter you’re staying in, consult them about your predicament.” Create a plan to get your life in order if your family can’t be accepting. I don’t want him to come stay with us. (The last time I lived with him, he “accidentally” knocked our son into the couch and walked out.

There ARE people who will love and care for anyone whose family can’t love them. If he doesn’t do it voluntarily, his wages can be garnished. Seek them out. While it may be challenging, look toward community gathering spaces and meetup groups. ** ** ** DEAR ABBY: Our only son has moved 2,000 miles away and has no contact with his sisters or me. (The last time I lived with him, he “accidentally” knocked our son into the couch and walked out. People are there; it may just take a bit more work to find them. Consider starting the search in a nearby larger town or city to find out who else travels there for support, or to find a safe space to explore away from home to gain a broader perspective. About 10 years ago, when I was separated from his father, we were both expressing our angst, and I more than likely negated his feelings in an email. Your husband cannot shirk paying child support.

Stay safe. Perhaps you should accept fewer of those phone calls. Educate yourself about resources online (affirming communities, crisis and emergency hotlines, state laws and rules). Should I bring that up in an apology now, hoping he will accept my most sincere acknowledgment that I ignored his pain? If so, what do I say? I am heartbroken and cannot sleep well with this hanging over my head. Planning AHEAD is something people forget most often about the transition process. I wish you only the best. Explain that you have been going over things in your mind and found the email from so long ago. If he doesn’t do it voluntarily, his wages can be garnished. DEAR ABBY: I may stop going to an auto mechanic I have used for several years because of mistakes he made diagnosing problems on my daughter’s friend’s car.

He advised her to get another car, but a different mechanic replaced the spark plugs and the catalytic converter, and the car is fine. Published. Should I tell him why I’m not coming back or just drive off into the sunset and let it go? -- FIXING TO CHANGE IN OHIO DEAR FIXING: Let it go. I know his street address and still have his email address and phone number. If the mechanic contacts you and asks why he hasn’t seen you, tell him the truth -- that you no longer trust his judgment after the bum steer he gave your daughter’s friend. .