Dear Abby | Abusive husband manipulates wife, kids living in shelter

I returned to my grandmother, who raised me, and tried to get a job. I couldn’t find one quickly because we went into quarantine and my uncles made me move out.

I currently live in a women’s shelter with my children, and I finally got a job. My problem is my husband still acts like we are getting back together, and he’s embarrassed that we are living here. I want a divorce, but he won’t talk about it, and threatens not to send money to support me and the children. He doesn’t send much, but I have enough gas to get everywhere during the week.

He keeps telling me how much money he makes now and that he can get us a nice place where he is, or he can come stay a whole week with us when he’s off. I don’t want him to come stay with us. When I tell him this, he gets angry and hangs up, but then calls back the next day to say the same thing. I can’t get him to understand that I don’t want to be with him anymore, and I’m tired of his abuse. He won’t admit he has a problem.

Your husband cannot shirk paying child support. If he doesn’t do it voluntarily, his wages can be garnished. While you’re at it, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline because they may have useful suggestions about how to rid yourself of your abusive, alcoholic husband.Our only son has moved 2,000 miles away and has no contact with his sisters or me. I know his street address and still have his email address and phone number.

Should I bring that up in an apology now, hoping he will accept my most sincere acknowledgment that I ignored his pain? If so, what do I say? I am heartbroken and cannot sleep well with this hanging over my head.Write your son and tell him you are trying to understand what has caused the rift between you. Explain that you have been going over things in your mind and found the email from so long ago.

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