Dear Abby: Dinner-and-drinks invite makes teetotaler uneasy

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DEAR ABBY: My husband, 'Dan,' and I do not consume alcohol, mostly because of our family history. Several years ago while Dan was at a work event, a consultant, 'Ken,' took him and some co-workers out for dinner. Ken ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Not wanting to cause a scene, my husband drank the glass poured for him. Now Ken has invited Dan and me to join him and his wife for an evening out, and he wants to 'meet early for drinks.'

DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Dan,” and I do not consume alcohol, mostly because of our family history. Several years ago while Dan was at a work event, a consultant, “Ken,” took him and some co-workers out for dinner. Ken ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Not wanting to cause a scene, my husband drank the glass poured for him. Now Ken has invited Dan and me to join him and his wife for an evening out, and he wants to “meet early for drinks.

DEAR RESPECTFULLY: It is perfectly acceptable to refuse alcohol. For various reasons, many people forgo “the grape” these days. If a server asks your husband what beverage he would like, your husband should state his preference -- be it sparkling water, a soft drink, a juice drink, etc. There is no shame in it, and it isn’t rude. That the host is providing alcohol is not a mandate to indulge, particularly if the guest has a problem with it.

 

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