Dear Abby: Abuse survivor’s sisters demand apology

DEAR ABBY: I survived 17 years of abuse. I’m slowly healing and now in a healthy relationship I enjoy. My ex did what most abusers do in these situations: He isolated me from my family. He would force me to say mean things to my sisters and parents to keep them away and make them hate me.

DEAR GETTING PAST: I’m not sure why your sisters are insisting you apologize again, but if I were you, I would do it to try to smooth things over. At that time I would explain to them about Stockholm syndrome, which sometimes happens when people are kidnapped, held prisoner and eventually begin to identify with their captors. Something similar may have happened between you and your abuser because, in a sense, you were being held hostage.

DEAR STILL HEALING: My “take” is that although you have moved on to a great degree, you are still grieving. Rover is part of your history. If photos of him bring you pleasure, continue to display them. However, if more often they make you sad, consider putting them away until more time has elapsed since his passing.DEAR ABBY: I want to give a monetary gift to some close friends of ours before we die. It’s in my will, but it occurred to me that they might as well enjoy it now, while they can.

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