'Abusive relationships don't start out abusive. They start out exciting and exhilarating. There's an intensity of affection and emotion, a rush. It feels really good.
'But in unhealthy love, these feelings shift over time from exciting to overwhelming and maybe a little bit suffocating. You feel it in your gut. Maybe it's when your new boyfriend or girlfriend says"I love you" faster than you were ready for or starts showing up everywhere, texting and calling a lot. Maybe they're impatient when you're slow to respond, even though they know you had other things going on that day.
'Isolation creeps in when your new boyfriend or girlfriend starts pulling you away from your friends and family, your support system, and tethering you more tightly to them. They might say things like,"Why do you hang out with them? They're such losers" about your best friends, or,"They want us to break up. They're totally against us" about your family. Isolation is about sowing seeds of doubt about everyone from your pre-relationship life.
'Healthy love includes independence, two people who love spending time together but who stay connected to the people and activities they cared about before. While at first you might spend every waking minute together, over time maintaining independence is key. You do this by making plans with friends and sticking to them and encouraging your partner to do the same.''Frequent break-ups and make-ups, high highs and low lows: as tension rises, so does volatility.
'By this point, you've been so conditioned to this relationship roller coaster that you may not realise how unhealthy and maybe even dangerous your relationship has become.'
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