, highly influential albums that will in no way help his daughter interact with her peers at a particularly delicate time in her social development. "There's a lot of cool stuff out there, and it's never too early to start learning what's worth your time. I'm just glad I have the know-how to guide her."
Campbell said he has also been vigilant in ensuring Emma develops an increased familiarity with timeless classic films, a parenting strategy that will inevitably hobble her as she attempts to achieve individuation while negotiating an adolescence heavily influenced by the very latest pop culture.
"Jean-Luc Godard, Stanley Kubrick, Billy Wilder—you simply need to know who these men are if you want to call yourself culturally literate," Campbell said of the three iconic directors whose creations could not have less utility to his daughter as she searches for a way to achieve a sense of belonging among her fellow middle-schoolers.
"I absolutely realize where she's at in life," Campbell said regarding the 12-year-old girl who has seen. "I don't care if she likes boy bands, but there are plenty out there that have some artistic merit: the Monkees, the Beach Boys, the Jackson 5. Come on, each of those guys is cuter than the next, and they're slightly talented, at least. I'd even be okay with Peter Frampton if she were really adamant about it, especially his early stuff with Humble Pie.
Reached for comment, Emma Campbell said that while she appreciated her father's dedication, she often had difficulty fitting in with her peers."I definitely feel out of place sometimes," said Emma, who told reporters she will never forget the blank stares she once received upon mentioning Petula Clark. "It'd be nice to know what everyone's talking about for a change.
me when i have kids, im gonna be a 'cool mom'
This is me except it was from myself
But she’ll also know who the older guy is singing onstage with Mylie Cyrus New Years Eve.
I thought that was Jeffrey Epstein for a second
I'm trying my best but she's listening to whatever the hell she wants to
Okay, I am feeling very attacked right now. Lol
This is how Manic pixie girls are made
remain in light yeah whatever reads article marquee moon FUCK
mythbri He's trying to make sure she'll Stop Making Sense
My only wish here was that she was holding the Fear of Music album.
Ha! My dad was like that. His 70s/80s collection was a bit absurd. I loved it then and still do. Most of the stuff I listen to now is from the 90s onward.
This is not my beautiful generation?
Extreme W
Best father ever
What an album though.
jrheling lol
I actually did this to my children. No sing alongs to top 40 music at parties for my kids lol. Sorry, kids, friends are overrated anyway
I'm 41 and some what guilty of this.
wtf onion.. yeah I know it's fake news but seriously!?...
I love Talking Heads
DON'T TOUCH THE GROOVES
same as it ever was. look where my hand was.
My favourite of the talking heads is Mr hands
BrianTRice Yep.
Oh, it’s me. Sorry johnson_saige
For the best
I feel seen
danxduran is this you?
😳
But she'll be a better person for it!!!!
she’s just like me
Both of my parents and I'm so grateful
This new generation is entirely out of touch and totally insane. Men having periods, men having babies. Identifying as a furry Animal. Little babies going to Drag Shows. Drag show story hour. etc Their insane!
Oh great, no she's on a road to nowhere.
Horrible dad. He should let her listen to contemporary music like Cardi B’s WAP so she can fit in.
If her favorite song on the album winds up being Crosseyed and Painless, he did his job correctly.
No bc this is one of the vinyls my dad gave me as a high school graduation present 😭
Stop writing articles about me lol
“See, we hear in analog…notice how much warmer the record sounds?”
I don't have kids but I'm a teacher and I've literally given kids copies of*/links to this Talking Heads album. (*remember burning CDs?)
tabletraystudio
Oh shoot guess we should just let Disney and Netflix decide for us
Yeah, I'm sorry, I kind of see myself in this guy, but have you heard the weak garbage the kids listen to now? We need to save that generation from itself.
“Dad, what’s Listening Wind about exactly?”
I feel like was written about jashurley
how do i work this
no way anyone owns that album and that sofa
I would be this guy if I had kids.
Pushing Talking Heads on her? Child abuse!
junior_miller this you?
My 14 year old daughter’s favourite bands are the GoGos, REM, and the White Stripes, and her first concert was to the New Pornographers. I apologize for nothing!
“Daddy, I can’t stand Adrian Belew!”
This headline is a classic that stays fresh
Is that Beto bet it's not his daughter hmm idk lol
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
Reminds of all the twenty somethings getting enamoured in 40 something old me because I know fun stuff like good movies,music and the original transformers cartoon run being better than the movies 1000x over.
ARE YOU SPYING ON ME
rachel_maria65 Remain in Light is a good start
Until David Burne does a diet with Miley
cc thePudman13
PeterSchorschFL You may ask yourself, Well, how did I get here?
ShaneWatch Retro gaming dads put on notice too
how dare, talking heads is always good :P
that album is only completely and thoroughly flawless.
Uh oh.
I hate when parents force their music on their kids then brag about how “cool” they are.
I thought this was supposed to be Satirical account
HackedYayonne11
But she will remain in light
That's a great album. 🥸
BryanDonovan3
No thanks, I'm a government man.
The Talking Heads will never go out of style maaan.
Hey, my 30-yr-olds love Frank Sinatra & Danny Kaye & Ella Fitzgerald. Along with Pink Floyd & the Beatles & the Decemberists & all the other classics.
her peers are gonna get into it when they get older and she'll be ahead of the curve, he's just setting her up for being a cool adult 😎
Is that a picture of Beto O’Rourke
Years down the line that cool dad my ask himself 'My God! What have I done?!'
Take a look at these hands!
Based dad
Is that Boxxy?
Why does that look like BetoORourke
Is that brunette teenage Taylor Swift?
Ha ha what?
REMOVE YOUR FINGERS FROM THE VINYL I BEG OF YOU! Handle your platters delicately and only by touching them on the very edge.
But she'll thank him later
Wow I guess recession has forced the Onion to lower standards for hiring writers.
greatest album of all time tho 😤😤
peter_p_p
That poster was in my dorm room wall
DrEvilGritty Me when I have kids
Yes, indeed!
SpiderInStckngs TALKING HEADS SLANDER!!!!!! REPORT
But I'm a Talking Heads fan....I'm 28.
sugarmaggzzzz it you except the internet did it
… called out DanielChomsky
haha
quiarados Whaaaaat
Due to the internet and cable, entertainment is so balkanized that a lot of kids can't even relate to each other.
Loser, I did that all by myself
Probably the worst album you could have picked since psycho killer seems to be pretty popular with teens every generation
Yes, but he can make money from her OnlyFans, so...fuck parental responsibility, just treat our kids like commodities.
Me i hope
Ha!
Hang on, other human beings have heard of The Secret Of Roan Inish?
Awfully familliar...
W.
“I learned it from watching you, okay! I learned it from you!”
Ted Beneke?
I love Talking Heads!
It might be the longest article I've read in The Onion... and that's not a bad thing, coming from them.
Worth it!
'Same as it ever was'. 🤷♂️🤷♀️
Based
Just like my parents and their parents before them.
I’d rather them be broadly educated and get curious about where the musicians they enjoy find inspiration. ( also I know this is a joke but it’s not a good one )
A classic
s tier album tho
If the Glow Part 2 24/7 from the age of 5 puts her out of touch with her generation then to my daughter, sweet heart, I'm sorry but you're going to be out of touch with your generation.
Damn right he’s the cool Dad!! Talking Heads one of the greatest bands ever.
Yes, whatever will she do without being exposed to The Machine Gun Kellys?
jjjinvesting My poor daughter is already a Chicago bears fan 😭
My dad was never this cool.
That's funny ...and remain in light is utterly classic. Their best album.
Relatable
Amateur. My 4-y-o broke out in a resounding chorus of 'WHACK-FOL-MA-DADDIO THERE'S WHISKEY IN THE JAR!' in the middle of Trader Joe's one day It was glorious. Next project: Ukrainian National Anthem and shanty songs. Because homeschool is the new normal.
The new stuff sux it will be forgotten within six months anyway. The classics always endure.
Yeah but Dad can brag to his friends and coworkers and that’s what matters.
wtfLisaTarot That happened with me. My dad raised me on old 50's Greaser music.
She’s doomed
Hahaha! Sometimes I will hear my kids singing along in the car, I ask how they know the song, and they tell me it is because I am their Mom. 😩
Good for him!
Hahaha *looks around nervously*
I turned my 16 year old on to the Talking Heads, he thanked me.
Parenting Win!!
MichaelGKagan
I did this to myself
I guess he's letting the days go by
... I never should have gifted my little cousin a 'Missy Elliot' CD...
Lucky kid.
Dude brought me up on star wars criminal minds and the big bang theory like exclusively. Im not like other girls
and you may find yourself, sat in a room with no friends..
first Onion article to make me laugh in a long time, good to see you back
You should probably shelve this one for a few more years. Records are back in style again. You've been able to buy them at Walmart for the last few years.
Whatever, my daughter has the first pressing of Pavement's Westing (By Musket and Sextant)
And she’ll be better off for it.
My dad
That was me! My 24 year old son in a 50 to 60 year old mind.
That’s a great album.
My most frequently referenced, and reenacted, Onion article.
“I feel like I wanted Taylor Swift, mm-kay?”
I've been mostly raised on newer music. My parents have never been the nostalgic types, they keep looking for new stuff to listen to, and I've mostly developed the same habit, but I did pick up a few bands from them
AND THE HEAT GOES ON AND THE HEAT GOES ON AND THE HEAT GOES ON WHERE THE HAND HAS BEEN
Is that Beto?
they dont know about rym users
Oh nothing much, just the Onion reposting the one funny thing they wrote in the last 7 years
Remain in light
My son is being raised on The Animals, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Elvis, Motown, Jazz and Blues. We've been collecting LP's too.
G'day! mONday! talkingheads 😎🍺
I definitely did this by raising my daughter on 'The Simpsons.'
Remain in Light is Talking Heads best album.. Father of the year right there..
She won't be like the other girls
grudging1 Sorry but my 18 yo has MFDoom, Kendrick, The Weeknd and Travis Scott in his vinyl collection.
...that LP is kinda fire ngl.
Exactly why I raised my children on Facebook
That albums a banger tho
That's me!
me fr
Heyyyyyyy, that's my dad
faekitty14
I feel judged 😂
'Cool' news source that is 'entirely out of touch' with this generation. Fyi, many teens are heavily into pre-C21st music - The Cure, Nirvana ... and Talking Heads, and many others. My daughter listens to an incredible mix of music, even, deep breath, HIPPY stuff!
Hitting a little close to home there Onion
Why did I think this was a picture of Beto O'Rourke for a second?
Because ,you know, the most important thing is being 'in touch' with your generation xD
Oh god that's me. But luckily my kids like my music and I also listen to theirs.
Shout-out to 14 year old me who wouldn't stop telling everyone how cool Metallica is 💀
Joe_Mello3 I’ve been attacked and this one hurts.
good dad
I'd say 'no serious loss there', but honestly, retro is far cooler than it was when I was a teen. I think it would be hard to truly put a kid out of touch without shutting down the internet to your house.
Good album, too!
Onion has become so rotten and predictable. No fun whatsoever.
My 3 year old: 'My momma said, to get things done, you better not mess with Major Tom'
Why did I think this was AI generated 😂
You're touching the grooves! Go to your room!
You're damn right
1) incorrect label 2) no touchy grooves
Lmaoooooo
that's road to nowhere
abbyspax What—like moms are never cool? I have definitely ruined our daughters as much as their father. It was a joint operation.
Donald_Booker nah, boomer rock is making a comeback.
Okay but like Remain in Light is like really good
I miss long-form Onion so, so much
Looks like Beto
Is this you, gmiddleb? 😄
mariotennis__
decefacts
StuartMaconie Tried to get my son to rub one out to an old Sears catalog but he refused and said “OK boomer” and then we laughed.
I was troubled when my daughter started school, because I knew The Damned would not remain her favourite band for much longer.
Prfe, this generations music sucks, back in my day we listened to Mozart on the piani Mahogany mahogany mahogany
I feel attacked.
StuartMaconie Surprised she’s not burning down the house
Is that Beto?
Wtf!
Lol...my kids dove into my old music collection on their own. I recall my son grabbing Pink Floyd's wish you were here CD. 15 mins later he takes his headphones off and asks 'are all their albums this good?'...lol...oh yeah...lol
With Talking Heads, she'll always be in touch with her soul.
LETTING THE DAYS GO BY
Same as it ever was
Lot of shlock in our upbringing admittedly. But this pop culture ...
never related harder
Psycho Killer...Once in a lifetime, some great stuff there don't knock it.
hrtgn 78 rpm?
earwolf A dad showing his kid some Scott and Scott podcasts
zim65
Nathan Fielder parenting
Literally on a road to nowhere
It’s for the best.
Good. Her generation sucks
I feel attacked, I like the Talking heads
An all-timer that still cuts me deep lol
'And they're playing it at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in the Park on Saturday honey so you can go hear it live!'
Hey, sounds familiar. (Get it?) ScarletMystra
Hol up. Talking heads maybe more relevant than they have ever been before.
She's gonna be one of those people commenting on Youtube videos of Beatles songs about how unique she is for listening to one of the most popular artists of all time instead of a more recent artist that is less popular
FreeRangeKids beg to differ: all the friends of my 14-year-old love 80s music! we sing along together in the car!
And the heat goes on
junior_miller this you?
Attention markwdowd
This one could probably be taken out of rotation for a while. Records are popular enough for Walmart and Target to sell them again.
Yeah, this doesn't work. I got my kid listening to psycho killer then she wanted to hear more Drake.
huskerfan4life9 I think about this often. My mindset when raising these cats.
talking heads kick ass
Same as it ever was
This hurts
If it’s Remain in Light, it’s honestly worth it.
born in le wrong generation 😔
jcasquirl
😂
Meh, she's not missing much.
Worked out okay for my kids
You only get once in a lifetime.
Talking Heads not so bad
It'll help down the road when she's looking for a Sugar Daddy.
Talking Heads never out of style!
daughter furious as gifts her with Reel to Reel system with entire collection of Frank Zappa and captain beef heart
Does cool dad just stick to side one? Does he know what Listening Wind is about? Does he have a talk with his daughter about it after listening?
'Now, this is Led Zeppelin. They're so old, your generation has probably never of them; outside of mainstream radio stations, American car commercials, and action movies about an older gangster or secret agent who's past his prime but can still kick some ass. Are you listening?'
A classic
My 22 y.o. daughter was disappointed she couldn't join me at a recent Pavement concert. I feel seen.
She's really lucky to have Beto O'Rourke as her dad.
J_Fries
Guilty.
And he might say to himself, 'My God, what have I done?!' (🎵 Letting the days go by... 🎶)
Gosh forbid she gets brainwashed by the current generation's pop music. You can't unwash that crap out of the mind no matter how much reeducation you do.
How else will she find out where 'Once in a Lifetime' in movie trailers comes from
My doctoral advisor, on his 14th birthday his father gifted him the classic book 'Boundary-Layer Theory' by Hermann Schlichting and Klaus Gersten...
She'll be better.
Classmate: Hey Sarah, what are you listening to? Sarah: Baked Beans, by Mother Goose...
She'll thank him later
Hold it by its edges!
THE WORLD WAS MOVING SHE WAS RIGHT THERE WITH IT AND SHE WAS
As a guy who raised his daughter on Hunky Dory this sounds too familiar
Same as it ever was
She’s lucky. This generation’s music sucks
chrisrock I see he is starting her off with a solid foundation. You got your ABC's, 123's and DBtodomundo of course.
'Darn it, Lexie, your MOTHER likes Rod Stewart, and YOU'LL like Rod Stewart!'
U are beautiful
That's lovely
I’m not sure about Talking Heads, but every kid needs to know about Motorhead.
She’ll make a good hipster
In fact, most girls are unable to maintain their virginity and their father's honor is only for their own sake.
BLYAT
The year was 1973. Alice Cooper was at the top of the charts w/ their latest album 'Billion Dollar Babies'. Good times...good times. Good on any parent who raises a kid on the sounds of Alice Cooper or any classic rock for that matter!
Does she go to public school? Yeah good luck with that
chrisrock Not out of touch, but above the ignorance that is so common nowadays...
chrisrock I did this to my younger brother and I'm proud to say he's become an intellectual snob that people can't understand. 😂
michaellabash
I still say I was the inspiration for this article. My dad is even in a band called Teenage Head, which I feel the Talking Heads record is a shout out to. This is us back stage at one of his gigs.
Or listen to whatever the man tells you is cool right now and ignore everything else.
I tried this and it totally didn't work...
WITH THE LIGHTS OUT ITS LESS DANGEROUS
'Young lady, in this house, we listen to Nine Inch Nails and we LIKE IT!'
That’s a classic. My new favorite was yesterday’s McSweeneys
rhowenstarborn sorry honey.
Why the fuck is she touching the grooves, what an animal
bmw41616 Mombai3 I've already got her Outkast, the replacements, and pearl jam posters.
ComfortablySmug How did they get Beto to pose for this?
True story!!
I've got my daughter listening to Vietnam era protest music. I REGRET NOTHING.
My father did this to me unironically. Now I listen to Meat Loaf and my friends think I'm cringe
There's 'good' music out there today, you just have to stop being lazy and look for it.
Saw this on MySpace...
Way too real
My life.
TalkingMeds you
_AKGaafar us as parents? Lmaoo
Wierdo
Yeah, but that’s a great album!
MarkDavis Like am radio...
Such a good father.
That will just make her cool!
plathidamente
At least it's not Television
rhodesdotc0m
We sure do 'value' individualism and authenticity don't we
That's how I grew up and yah you might go to concerts alone bc none of your friends know/like the artist but hell you gonna learn to just do your own thing and don't care about the opinion of others! 😂👏🏼
Wow this comment section is filled with legit shitty dads that want their kids to not be able to relate to their peers. I think the onion is turning into a real news source
Headlines like this make me sort of happy I didn’t really have parents. My foster parents listened to country & I can’t stand listening to ANY country because of it, it actually makes me sick, no lie! I went completely to the other side, heavy metal!! Metallica is my favorite!
I think you will all find that most parents inflict there musical taste onto their kids! Nothing special there! Mine were brought up on Meatloaf, Mozart & Madonna ( only The Immaculate collection ) l myself Frank Sinatra, Jim Reeves & Nat King Cole
no one should ever have kids
I think everyone missed the real joke...that couch
I have that album but no record player. Thank God for spotify. My daughter is 25 and into Talking Heads and totally out of touch!
MarkDavis The Onion
that's what dad's do best!
scottytaco Burning down the house.
brgenovez rorygaIIagher
If I could get this classic image printed on a canvas board, I’d frame it and hang it somewhere in my home.
jwilloughby joannawillo zoemalinwillo - a childhood of SNL quotes and 80s movies...
Is real. Can confirm.
‘warning signs’
Cause having perspective is a good vibration. Plus I don't think he wants her touching anyone of any generation just yet. Luckily she will be prepared either way.
Good album
Jesus the replies are hilarious. NEVER force your own interests onto your kids. If your child likes old music, great! If they don’t, don’t force them to listen to old music. Simple! Children are people with independent interests and need to be treated as such.
Wish my dad treated me like that 😍
Hey that's a great album!
That's a fathers job.
And that’s how I became the man I am today
Pffft. My kid's been familiar with Remain in Light since he was 6.
This Isn't satire
Cal_Capone_
pattonoswalt
Ouch
In touch with something different. Ricky Ricardo on LSD.
Talking Heads are always cool.
😂😂😂
If thrash metal makes me out of touch with my generation, then I don't want to be in touch.
At least she will know what music is supposed to sound like.
'...and darling, I cannot stress the importance of this enough, never forget that the name of the band is 'Talking Heads', not 'THE Talking Heads'. Now go put on your big suit for Daddy.'
I don't want to be in touch with my generation, so my dad did good.
the way she holds the vinyl tho 😡😡
Damn right
Exactly, all the cool kids know Fear of Music is the better album
I was raised on a lot of different music and little to no pop or radio, and now I'm super picky and most people don't know the bands I listen to (oops I'm one of those people) 🤷🏻♂️ I think there's some truth to this headline 😂
Oh my god....I am doing the same thing with my 10 year old..........and I'm right to do it! He's not supposed to know about Pearl Jam, the Beatles, Nirvana, Led Zepplin Come on!
She needs to get her grubby little fingers off the face of that record
jack_connors1
ITT: People afraid of change
It’s The Belmont’s sweetheart. Sing along!
I'm 38 and prefer the Beatles, Beach Boys, Aretha Franklin, Buddy Holly, etc. Thanks, Dad! (And Mom - she's responsible for the Beach Boys in particular.)
I brought my kids up on Steely Dan and they turned out ok.
Lost my shape Trying to act casual! Can't stop I might end up in the hospital I'm changing my shape I feel like an accident They're back! To explain their experience
Fi fi fi fi fi fi fi fire 🔥 psycho killa
That happens Once in a Lifetime
jtvrdik
Worth it
Beto!
Not relevant
Once in a lifetime
Tried to convince my daughter that Tom Baker is a cool Doctor Who.
all_duane yessss
He's doing what he can since his daughter was born under punches.
Unironically good parenting
Is this not how Hipsters were created
I'm afraid of a society that lets children grow up not knowing the genius of David Byrne.
It's about time we had the talk. You may ask yourself 'How did I get here'...
Relatable, but also: This generation can eat my ass. Mumble rap listening, man bun headed tattooed hooligans. Nixon was right about everything.
Good
Once in a Lifetime is ageless.
Same as it ever was.
Lost speed after the fifth paragraph... became tedious to read. I have never complained before.
I'll be sure to tell my kids about tarkus in the future.
Thank god my dad didn’t bother raising me.
I love this.
The long con dad joke! NICE!
Att: SuburbsPod
Hey, MikeSullivan, is this RobertoBoschian?
Is that so bad?
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