Visibly alarmed CDC personnel explained that they received a disturbing report last week of a municipal park in Astoria, NY that contained what they described as “an in-ground reservoir filled with approximately 40,000 gallons of tepid water mixed with human sweat, body hair, bacteria, and mucus.” The officials stated that further investigation revealed dozens of similar cases in the surrounding area, touching off fears of a widespread epidemic.
“We urge citizens to take common-sense precautions by avoiding these public pools, as well as any dripping wet or towel-clad individuals who may have recently been exposed to one,” he continued. “While it’s important that citizens not panic, we want to make it clear to the public just how disgusting these things are.
Frieden reported that the CDC is currently formulating a plan to eradicate the pools by draining them as quickly as possible.
“The reality is that anyone, anywhere, could end up in a public pool,” said Frieden, who noted that the organization was developing a special task force to address the related scourges of communal hot tubs and water parks it had also recently uncovered. “The last thing we want is for Americans to take this situation lightly. These pools are nasty, smelly and almost certainly contain trace amounts of fecal matter.
That flavor in the water is just vitamins, this is why your immune systems suck.
Just wait until they find out about canals.
Thank you
mermaidhun me yesterday
Old Paul Rudd?
😂
Begs Trump for Executive Order TRIPLING Chlorine Requirement
like visiting a rest area bathroom
😂
Can't these lower middle class city dwellers afford their own swimming pool, a spokesperson from the Trump administration asked.
Childcare centres are scarier.
I will admit..I peed in the pool every time I swam as a kid.
I- this kind of makes sense?
CDC horrified after discovering existence of PEE IN thousands of public Pools 😊 -- Fixed it for you!!
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