Carolyn Hax: Mom stunned to see there’s no social cost for being a ‘deadbeat dad’

I was with my partner for three years, made a cross-country move for him, was VERY close to his family , and we often discussed marriage and children. We began to renovate our house with plans for, “Where will the future kids sleep?”And “Dad” said either get an abortion or I’m out. We are both in our mid-30s, have excellent careers, etc. There was no world where I could get an abortion. I’ve always wanted to be a mom.

Our beautiful daughter is turning 1 next week. Dad hasn’t visited in 11 months, refuses to look at photos of her and often calls to berate me because I filed for child support. It sucks, but I’m moving forward.However, Dad’s life seems … unchanged except for the child support he’s paying. He still has all his close friends, he flies to visit them often, and they visit him. All his college friends are getting together next weekend at his family vacation home.

I know I can’t change anyone else but me. How do I let go of this anger that his friends and family don’t seem to care about his horrible life choices? How do I stop feeling how unfair it is? How?You get off Instagram, yep. Then you wait a little longer than you’ve waited so far for that move to have its intended effect.

Would you rather your ex had married you before skipping out for sake bombs and yelling at you about money?Who knows what he and his family actually feel about each other, since you’re just seeing photos. But they’ve made their choices, too.The wanted child, the move near family, the propping open of doors for his family to know your child — all great. The Instagram fast, smart. Keep it going: Learn to quit the idea completely of him as an involved dad.

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Carolyn Hax: Stay-at-home mom worries about the example she’s setting for kidsDo kids develop harmful gender expectations when they have a stay-at-home mom and a working dad?
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Carolyn Hax: Mom dumped stepdad and wants to coo about her new love to her kidMom dropped the letter writer’s stepdad for her college friend — and wants her kid to be as happy about it as she is.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous coupleA mom worries about her daughter, who is in a relationship with a married couple and plans to adopt their (theoretical) baby.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Carolyn Hax: Shouldn’t husband come home early, now that his mom is okay?A couple agreed he’d go abroad for two weeks for his mom’s surgery. She bounced back, but he wants to see friends instead of rushing home.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Carolyn Hax: Mom badgers with loaded questions when she wants to make a pointLetter writer wishes their mom would just say what she thinks instead of asking loaded questions to the point of madness.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Carolyn Hax: Can this sibling salvage a brother’s relationship with their mom?Taking up the cause of their lonely mom leads to a “blowout fight” between this letter writer and the brother who lives nearby.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »