Biggest Revelations From The Johnny Depp–Amber Heard Trial

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 62 sec. here
  • 3 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 28%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

If you think Heard and Depp are caustic and unhinged, try looking in the mirror.

You could have sworn he was dead when you accidentally ran him over on the night of Jan. 3, 2017, and then accidentally backed over him again. But the ol’ bastard is apparently still ticking.Isn’t that nuts? We got bored watching the trial and started reading about shrimp on the internet.We’re Never Getting Back The Wedding Gift We Sent Them

It’s a nice silver one with a crank handle on the side. We’ve sent several messages over the past few years with no response yet.The Hard Problem Of Consciousness Is Essentially Unsolvable Due To Bio-Ontological-Phenomenological BarriersThe Hard Problem Of Consciousness Is Essentially Unsolvable Due To Bio-Ontological-Phenomenological Barriers

In shocking testimony, one of Amber Heard’s maids confirmed that humanity will never get to the bottom of the qualitative-quantitative split and a material explanation for the arising of consciousness due to limitations inherent to the human mind.

The house would be a tropical beach house and we would have 16 servants and we would recreate the ice dance scene fromList slidesApparently, you can lead a lavish lifestyle simply by being incredibly popular in show business.Depp Unable To Grow Back Limbs Like A Salamander The reason Depp’s fingertip was severed is disputed, but the fact that he needed surgery confirms his inability to sprout new appendages like a newt, salamander, or starfish.Celebrities Abuse Their Significant Others Just Like The Rest Of UsPeople Should Use The Internet LessTalking About It Is Great For Web TrafficAdvertisement

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

I know this is satire, but I still enjoy a nice pile of shit on my bed once in a while

Jomber

this is the classic TheO content I like

LlamaInaTux I think that the basic idea is Amber Heard is mentally unbalanced enough concerns for Johnny Depp that she could be some sort stalker. She almost needs a talk show on CourtTV 2 study her in action some sort of 'Sybil' type

Based onion

The only people gave a shit about this trial are MRAs and weird fan girls. Now the nation can heal.

Nation pivots from insisting celebrity trials are stupid and meaningless to declaring latest celebrity trial has destroyed America.

Shhhh just let people enjoy things whole the world slowly burns to the ground.

😂😂that, or maybe the onion is acting too cynical and/or snob 🤣🤣

Amber Heard made her bed, now she can sh!t in it...

this is misogynistic

I just find them completely uninteresting. And yes, I also see that in the mirror.

This article should be called 'How to pretend like you are neutral while indirectly supporting one side'

Was this supposed to be funny? Lol. 'Amber Heard is single. Johnny Depp's loss is your gain?' Men who want their fingers shortened, step up.

I just did. Last night was a doozy

Trying to push narratives isn't funny, which is going to be the onions downfall Just get back to satire without the bias

I never pooped in a movie stars bed

Playing the victim is Johnny’s best performance in over a decade.

nailed it

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Depp-Heard jury still sorting through weeks of dirty laundryA jury has resumed deliberations after a sensational six-week trial to resolve defamation claims by Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard over their volatile and unhappy marriage.
Source: wjxt4 - 🏆 246. / 63 Read more »

Depp-Heard jury still sorting through weeks of dirty laundryA jury has resumed deliberations after a sensational six-week trial to resolve defamation claims by Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard.
Source: ksatnews - 🏆 442. / 53 Read more »

Depp-Heard jury still sorting through weeks of dirty laundryA jury has resumed deliberations after a sensational six-week trial to resolve defamation claims by Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard over their volatile and unhappy marriage. The seven-person civil jury heard closing arguments Friday and deliberated for about two hours before leaving for the long Memorial Day weekend. Jurors resumed deliberations in Fairfax County Circuit Court just after 9 a.m. Tuesday. Depp is guilty.
Source: YahooNews - 🏆 380. / 59 Read more »

Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial: Jury continues deliberations in defamation caseA seven-person civil jury in Virginia will resume deliberations Tuesday in Johnny Depp's libel trial against Amber Heard. Here's what the jury has to decide. FOX13
Source: fox13seattle - 🏆 328. / 59 Read more »

Jury's duty in Depp-Heard trial doesn't track public debateWhen the jury in Johnny Depp's libel suit against ex-wife Amber Heard resumes deliberations after the Memorial Day weekend, its focus will be on issues much removed from the public debate that has engulfed the proceedings. WhoGivesAshit garbage BullshittheGameShow
Source: ksatnews - 🏆 442. / 53 Read more »

Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial: Jury to continue deliberations in defamation caseA seven-person civil jury in Virginia will resume deliberations Tuesday in Johnny Depp's libel trial against Amber Heard. Here's what the jury has to decide.
Source: FOX26Houston - 🏆 448. / 53 Read more »