Ask Amy: My friend invited me to her baptism. I don’t want to go.

My friend “Tina” and I have been friends since college and are now in our 50s. When we met we were members of a campus religious organization, however as the years passed we both drifted away from our religious affiliations. I now would call myself agnostic.

She was forced to cancel due to a family emergency, but then told me that she would reschedule her baptism so that I could plan on attending. The problem is, I don’t have any desire to go. While I don’t begrudge her any comfort her faith is bringing her, I am not interested and don’t want to feel pressured to participate.I believe that in this context, honesty is not only called for, but it is also the most graceful way to handle this.

My brother died last year. I didn’t want to bring up the aforementioned situation at that time, due to my sister-in-law’s health and her intense grief. But now that it’s almost a full year since he passed, I’d like to know this: Would it be morally/ethically correct if I ask her for the money that my brother “stole” from me?

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