Ask Amy: Husband’s hoarding makes walls close in

I disagree with your assessment of your husband’s behavior. In my view, he does exhibit signs of having a hoarding disorder. This is a persistent, compulsive, and distressing condition where people experience extreme anxiety when faced with the prospect of getting rid of anything — even when the item is broken, useless, or part of a huge collection. When combined with the compulsion to acquire more possessions, the pile grows and — yes — the walls start closing in.

Your husband may well refuse to seek treatment, and so you should seek to understand your role in the household and what things you might do differently to communicate your needs in a neutral and helpful way, versus what you are currently doing, which is heroically working overtime to hold back the rising tide.

In recent weeks, some changes in my habits and schedule have put me in the room above her bedroom some late evenings, and I have discovered that she snores. Quite loudly.

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