Ask Amy: Does he love me enough to work on our marriage?

Frustrated with his distance and indifference, I recently said that I needed to know if he loved me enough to work with me on improving our relationship.He stated that he doesn’t know if he loves me because he doesn’t know how to feel love, because of the way he grew up.Her menial jobs kept her away from home and the kids had to fend for themselves. She was briefly married to an abusive man, but I don’t know the extent of the abuse.

My sons and I had nothing to do with the way he grew up, yet we are the ones who are being punished, with a father and husband who cannot feel or express love and connection. We went to joint counseling once several years ago, and that did not go well, so he is not willing to try again.I feel like my only choice at this point is to walk away from a 40-year marriage, and that makes me sad.

Children who grew up with neglect and trauma protect themselves by forming a hard shell around their feelings. It’s all about survival.

You wasted 40 years on a man who doesnt even know if he loves you…? I’ll never understand some women. Where is your self worth?

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