Ask Amy: Should I tell this woman that I’m ignoring her?

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I’m snubbing her for her lack of gratitude, but she hasn’t noticed.

Your story reminds me of the well-known thought experiment: If you deliver a cold shoulder, but the recipient doesn’t notice, is the shoulder still cold?Because these clothes came through an intermediary, there is a remote possibility that this recipient does not realize that the clothes actually originated with you.

You don’t seem to have a positive relationship with her, and so the stakes are different than if you had a longstanding friendship to worry about. Depending on how she answers, you can add: “It was hard to say goodbye to things I love. I was glad they landed in a good home, but honestly, I’m disappointed that you never acknowledged it or thanked me.”I am a 30-year-old wife, happily married. We are decorating our new home in preparation to start a family. However, I’ve been very busy at work.

At the least, her choice was in questionable taste. At the most, it was an aggressive maneuver. It’s your house!

 

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