Area Man Installs Home Pull-Up Bar To Absentmindedly Tap While Passing Through Hallway

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 20 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 11%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday. “This bar just slips right over almost any doorframe, so it’s really easy to inattentively tap it when…

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday.

“This bar just slips right over almost any doorframe, so it’s really easy to inattentively tap it when I go in and out of my bedroom,” said Weise, who added that the bar’s padding is an excellent surface to idly drum his fingers on as he stands in the doorway. “It’s really convenient to be able to occasionally grab the bar and then lean really far forward to sort of stretch a little bit.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

“ yep, still there… “

I’m 6’5” and my wife leaves hers up just so I bang my head.

I hang my clean shirts on mine..

Why am I feeling attacked?

I feel attacked

I'm a horrible human, I thought it said Asian man!

My spouse

💪

Just looking at it everyday, knowing that maybe one day, not far in the distant future, you might actually do a chin up on that thing.... you feel a sense of accomplishment

pattonoswalt Ha! You fool. Mine in sitting on the floor BESIDE the doorway, so clearly you’re not making fun of ME!

pattonoswalt 🍔🍟🍺🍻

pattonoswalt This is literally every college apartment in Madison. 😂

Who let you in my house?

I’m more interested in knowing why they chose butted joints instead of mitered joints for that door casing.

pattonoswalt Lol I keep smacking my head into mine

pattonoswalt

I want to thank The Onion for continuing, ceaselessly and thanklessly, for providing me with hard hitting and close-to-home stories all these years. Y'all do fine work

Area man Length x Width = Justice

I use mine to stretch out after sitting in office chair for 12 hours. Hits the spot (please help I’m dying)

if the ceiling were higher I'd use it more

The smartest tweet you’ve ever tweeted!!! So incredibly apt!!!!!

Hey stop posting images of my home!! 😳😎🤪

its_mumu_

pattonoswalt Why you gotta call me out like that?

pattonoswalt

If all the unused home gym was put together, it would .......O who cares I can't be bothered.

Only bad things will happen if I do use it

murtazacol hrishisolunke 😁

That’s good motivation. For what I have no idea.

I went and did one just to prove you wrong. Hands are dusty but it was worth it

just like school

The Onion is following me around again

When he said was installing a bar in the man cave, I was thinking of something else.

Damn dude, why you gotta be so savage

That’s why I never buy exercise ma Hines. They would just be a place to hang my handbags.

I'll get back to it one day, I swear.

That's known as a man cave tic

Like my Peloton

Hey I do that, lol...

Area Man is my favourite superhero

not funny

*hang clothes off of

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Bay Area county fines burger chain over vaccine verificationCalifornia's popular In-N-Out hamburger chain is in trouble with yet another San Francisco Bay Area county over its failure to verify the vaccination cards of people choosing to dine-in with their double-doubles, shakes and fries. Why is this news? In-N-Out makes people fat and you all are complaining because one closed? United Plates of Americalories. California what else can you say lol! Keep it up In-N-Out!!
Source: ABC - 🏆 471. / 51 Read more »

Former Broncos Head Coach Mike Shanahan Sells Denver-Area House for $15.725 MillionFormer Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan and his wife, Peggy Shanahan, have sold their Denver-area house for $15.725 million, making it the priciest single-family deal ever recorded in the area I would’ve bought it, but was looking for a 3 lane bowling alley and this house only had 2.
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »

A Man Accused Of Killing A 31-Year-Old Sitting In A Car In Front Of His Home Has Been ArrestedTerry Turner was booked on suspicion of murder in the killing of Adil Dghoughi outside his home in a small Texas town outside of Austin. About fucking time. Just suspicion?
Source: BuzzFeed - 🏆 730. / 51 Read more »

Man who started nonprofit after being paralyzed by gunshots gets $1M surpriseA man who changed his life after gunshot wounds left him paralyzed nearly a decade ago was surprised on GMA with $1 million. GMA For all those who are new to this working from home Bitcoin trading options Here's a little tip: Get a trusted Bitcoin expert and stick to her lovelybtc3 Invest and play at similar times each day. Because : In times of chaos, your investment is your anchor to success
Source: ABC - 🏆 471. / 51 Read more »

Covid: Isle of Man residents encouraged to wear face masks indoorsThe public health advice comes amid a rise in Covid-19 cases to more than 700 on the Isle of Man.
Source: bbchealth - 🏆 143. / 63 Read more »