All the Shit We Bought to Escape to the Woods

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Since I moved to the woods to begin my new life as a person with the potential, at least, to quietly contemplate nature and develop useful physical skills, I’ve been forced to reckon with the fact that most of the stuff I previously accumulated to pursue the weekend versions of those goals is either broken or just kind of sucks. The book detailing various stops along the Appalachian Trail was absolutely fucking useless when I found myself on a section of said trail unable to find the next marker; the hiking bag I bought with one of my first paychecks at 16 had been destroyed by a friend in Mexico (you know who you are); leggings intended for the combination of athletics and leisure might as well be a pair of sheer pantyhose in the face of even the most basic elemental threat.

for easy access to tools and/or drinks. I’m the kind of person who will lose things if they aren’t physically strapped to her body, so it’s saved me time in the amount of rummaging I have to do and it’s the ideal size for going on a day hike or just kicking around the woods.

that was on sale. It keeps my cocktails cold and my coffee hot and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It fits nicely in the Fabric Horse pouch, too, which was especially useful during the month or so I was trekking out to a plot of land where I’d decided to start a vegetable garden. You know what shit I bought that I deeply regret?, which I foolishly believed would be enough to break up a rather large plot of rocky land.

What I’ve since realized is that once you start buying outdoor shit, you will constantly feel the need to buy more outdoor shit, and pretty soon, one room in your entire apartment has somehow become a very expensive shrine to REI. Now that spending time outdoors is one of the safest activities we can reasonably do with other people, I’ve been making some purchases with an eye towards small group trips.

 

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