Gentle Whisper Of Wind Through Willows, Dappling Of Sunlight Upon Leaves Unsure What More They Have To Do To Make Dipshit Look Up From Phone

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CAPE ELIZABETH, ME—Unsure what more could possibly be done to attract the lumbering oaf’s attention, a gentle whisper of wind through the willows and a dappling of sunlight upon summer’s lush leaves expressed their consternation Wednesday on how to make local dipshit Andrew Meyers look up from his phone. “Jesus Christ, the air is redolent of honeysuckle, the morning dew is glistening on the grasses, and we’re working our asses off pumping out the aeolian harmony to make this numbnuts take a break from playing Jewel Mania long enough to see the magnificence of nature; yet we’re just getting jack shit from him in return,” reported the sublime natural phenomena, as they expressed their indignation that not even the almost painful beauty of sunshine beaming down from the heavens and warming the chump’s shoulder blade like a caress from the universe itself could coax the jackass from his digital slumber. “Look, we’ve got a brook babbling over here, the wildflowers are blooming like a motherfucker, there’s this gorgeous mist rolling in off the waterfront, and he’s obsessing about some bullshit a stranger, who he’ll never meet, posted on Twitter. What in the living fuck is wrong with him?” At press time, the beauty of the natural world had given up entirely after the moronic man had glanced away from social media in order to take a video of a squirrel chewing on a piece of styrofoam.\n

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CAPE ELIZABETH, ME—Unsure what more could possibly be done to attract the lumbering oaf’s attention, a gentle whisper of wind through the willows and a dappling of sunlight upon summer’s lush leaves expressed their consternation Wednesday on how to make local dipshit Andrew Meyers look up from his phone.

“Jesus Christ, the air is redolent of honeysuckle, the morning dew is glistening on the grasses, and we’re working our asses off pumping out the aeolian harmony to make this numbnuts take a break from playinglong enough to see the magnificence of nature; yet we’re just getting jack shit from him in return,” reported the sublime natural phenomena, as they expressed their indignation that not even the almost painful beauty of sunshine beaming down from the heavens and warming the chump’s shoulder...

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the beauty of Dana and the phones, all part of tje balance, let it be

Hopeless case! 😂🤣

Meet Sprotpire! And the fuchsia of Apple as I’m a bit of a Johnny APPLE seed of Sprots! A vanpire sproutling who has just popped up through the nice soft warm soil and he even still has the empty seed shell stuck to his head like a helmet. Hate, RudolpH©️ EMVPRODUCTIONS®️2020

I got teary eye at such beauty and eloquence! My heart is pounding at the poetry and meaning! Is the squirrel OK?

I still love you trees!

Santa and the Easter Bunny having a pillow fight.

SteampunkPaganX Ha...this is great

Speaking as a dipshit, boobs are always good. Unless I'm looking at them on my phone.

'Do we really have to bring out the tornado?' 'Lets be honest, the dipshit is just gonna post a picture of it and go on'

Sometimes you must stop and smell the onions.

phone bad tree good

Cat videos, Mother Nature. Not hard.

Hahaha

RELATED: Pandemic 'New Normal' looks a lot like Old Normal.

Can we please go back to when only corrupt Wall Street tycoons nonchalantly used their phones on the beach?!

Good one

For real. I was at the beach today and saw these two 20-somethings come down, take selfies for an hour and then leave.

Take away their free bottles of water and weed.

Is this a phone advert? 🤔

Sparkle of sunshine on water, the laughter of children, oncoming spectre of death...

...for the last time

That's funny, because one time I was in Dana Point, CA looking at a beautiful sunset over the ocean and there was a guy on a bench with all that in front of him looking at his phone... and for far more than just a moment

Put it in a dance to a top 5 pop song maybe

being on Sprint?

💚

Walk directly into his path, let out a loud hacking cough and watch them wither in fear, so much fun.

devinedianakin Love it!!!

My attention span is gone, carried away, by the wind that shakes the willow.

RELATED: New Normal Looks Strikingly Like Old Normal

Me rn

DAPPLE HARDER.

once you have seen one tree, you have seem them all. There's new memes on the internet every single day. I used to cut smartasses like this tree down in Runescape.

Amen!

Burst into flames?

Don’t worry. The leaves will be canceled in two months.

maybe if they were actually cake someone would pay attention to them

Give him 50 likes on his shitpost.

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