KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—In a development that sent shock waves through the international community and negated two decades of effort by American-led coalition forces, reports confirmed Monday that Afghanistan fell to the Taliban a couple hours earlier than anyone expected. “Weknew the well-armed, well-organized, and highly motivated Taliban fighters would seize power eventually—it just happened 90 to 120 minutes sooner than we were anticipating,” said U.S.
Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, explaining that American and Afghan officials were caught flat-footed Sunday evening when they discovered Taliban leaders were already giving media interviews in Kabul’s presidential palace. “That was a development we did not foresee happening until sometime later, maybe around bedtime, or at least after supper. But we were working from our best estimate.
The Proud Boys and right wing evangelicals green with envy! AmericanTaliban
A couple hours earlier than expected! SMH! Um 20 years…
Too soon guys
No longer satire thou have become a stater of facts.
This is excellent satire. Nailed it.
,
Not funny
Somebody should tell them it's less windy if they ride on the inside rather than on top of the plane.
I thought this was supposed to be a joke.
Why I oughtta!
Why Endearing? Here's one clarification. You might dispute if a church has to be endearing if it's the army bin that's worse. It might be Utah Valley that wants it that way. It might explain the VW bus that might be more endearing when it's membership doesn't like it.
Kind of appalled by Republicans trying to say 'this is 100% on Biden, he has to own it'... insofar as I can be truly appalled by any political opinion anymore.
🤣
Almost the same headline
Is this even Satire?
F*ck
BBoostin SnakeloreCS ImNen_
This isn’t satire.
That's a tragically good headline there Onion.
Niagara Falls, Victoria Falls, now Afghanistan Falls. Who falls next?
Couple Hours🤪. Prediction was couple of months.
I can’t laugh at this. It’s spot on satire, but I just can’t. The situation is too sad to be laughed at.
Would’ve happened 10 years ago. Would happen 10 years from now. The Afghan “Army” was never going to fight. You can only prop up corrupt governments for so long. Just like Vietnam 50 years ago. We never learn.
It would seem that the Middle East, and in particular, the Taliban ,are not interested in anything except war. There is no art, culture, music, writing, poetry, film, or any arts of any consequence being created in that region.…only War…what a waste.
So sad. Never expected this to happen so rapidly.
It's hilariously brilliant..
Poor taste
Obligatory, 'So The Onion is just reporting actual news now?' comment.
As long as no one goes into the cockpit.
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