7 Common Post-Separation Abuse Tactics

images and ruin their ex’s reputation and livelihood. They threaten to drive them to financial ruin and block the target from ever seeing their children. They may overtly issue threats of bodily harm or a deluge of messages such as, “What if something happens to you, God forbid….”

Unfortunately, abusers sometimes carry out these threats, demonstrated by the high number of post-separation homicides. .If they are in a custody battle , clever domestic abusers try to avoid blatantly abusing their children. They might, however, drive at dangerously high speeds with their child in the car, or fail to protect the child adequately from, bug bites, or sunburn, or allow the child to watch TV all day during their parenting time.

One domestic abuser I know bought his young daughter high heels so he could sneak her onto amusement park rides where she did not meet the height requirement. Another bought his children chips and soda for dinner twice a week at the local gas station when he had parenting time, announcing to everyone who came in that the kids’ “no-good mother” had abandoned them . Other abusers will physically, psychologically, or sexually abuse their children as a way to “get back” at their ex-partner.

One father who had never shown interest in his daughter seemed determined to turn her from a studious and popular child into a delinquent outcast, dying her hair green and then—when the mother objected—shaving the girl’s head. The daughter was so upset that she begged her father to allow her to homeschool, and the father withdrew her from school without the mother’s permission.

And this is exactly why the NC draconian requirement of a 1year separation before a divorce is unnecessary. It would be more effective for a 1year waiting period to get married.

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