'People wanted to mother me': The realities of dating when you're gay and disabled
Finding someone who also didn’t mind emptying sick buckets? Let’s just say it wasn’t easy.
Regardless of medical annoyances, my loveless heart bothered me the most. Being gay narrows the potential dating pool. Finding someone within that group who fancied me (and I fancied back) but who also didn’t mind emptying sick buckets… let’s just say it wasn’t easy! Nevertheless, on First Date #371, in strolled a cheeky, grinning brunette who took one look at my hearing aids, assumed they were a Bluetooth headset and laughed uproariously when I corrected her.
This isn’t to say it’s been completely plain sailing. Dating someone means taking on their literal and metaphorical baggage, and disabled people have more accoutrements than average. Housing (but not being freaked out by) a wheelchair, crutches and wrist splints is one thing. Dealing with your girlfriend having a carer is quite another.
, I have no sense of personal space or privacy. I’m used to stripping off for doctors, being bathed by someone I met five minutes ago, and conducting meetings from my bed. It was a shock to realise she wanted to keep our co-owned spaces private. Though I hadn’t minded when it was
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