'We’re in a serious sex recession - we do it less than our parents did'

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Notes on Heartbreak author and dating columnist annielord8 talks about the difficulties of dating in 2022

Three years ago, Annie Lord’s five-year relationship suddenly came to an end. Now, in her debut book Notes on Heartbreak, the popular dating columnist has revisited the past, from the moment she fell in love to the breakdown of her romance.

And offline, this scenario plays out too. I went to a party the other week and I was moaning to my friend about a guy I’d met there. He wasn’t really my type - he was a bit too Central Saint Martins art college vibe for my liking - but he was really funny and we exchanged numbers. There’s this concept floating around that states that younger generations are experiencing a 'sex recession' - and I think it’s true. Given that we speak more openly about sex - both in the media and everyday life - you’d think that we’re having more of it than our parents. In reality, we’re having a lot less, according to some statistics.

It’s like looking for a film on Netflix and saying ‘no’ to the first two options and spending the whole night finding another one. I have friends who have gone on two or three dates with the same person, only for that person to find someone else to talk to. People think there’s something better to be had but you can’t really know how you feel about something until you let it develop.

But in that case, I think there was a lot more accountability. When people didn’t have mobiles, you couldn’t let them know at the last minute that you didn’t want to go out with them. The idea of someone being at a restaurant waiting for you would be too much to stop you from flaking, so you’d go on the date, see more people and find more connections.

 

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