The 1 Thing Therapists Say Harms Eldest Daughters' Happiness The Most

If you're a firstborn daughter who feels overly responsible for your family, friends, colleagues and more, you likely are robbing yourself of some happiness.

It’ll come as no surprise to any eldest daughter that this isn’t easy, and it’s likely overwhelming to think about everything that you feel you need to get done. When you’re worried about all of the things you need to take care of, it can be hard to let loose and have fun.“I think one of the things for eldest daughters is that they often carry part of the parental burden,” said“Sometimes that’s explicitly told to them, that they are responsible. But a lot of times it’s this implicit thing that happens in the family system where they will be responsible for some of the family stuff,” Harris noted.

“We tend to expect girls and women to be more emotionally attuned and take on more of a caregiver role,” she said. “So eldest daughters have that double dose. Not only are they the oldest, and so they’re the most mature, there’s those expectations on them.”“When we put adult responsibilities on children, they’re going to feel like they’re failing because they literally aren’t equipped to do the thing,” said Harris.

“A big part of this process is going to be setting boundaries and really rewriting your role to something that’s more aligned with your current values and what you’re wanting for yourself now,” Moore said.“A lot of times, what I will have clients do is be curious about something from their childhood they missed out on because they were busy over-functioning,” Harris explained.

Source: Healthcare Press (healthcarepress.net)

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