Paul O'Grady's beloved dog cuddled into the star's shoulder as his devoted husband tried to save him. Their home, nestled in the lovely Kent countryside, used to be filled with laughter.
The event is still so fresh in Andre's mind that he couldn't bear to stay in the same house. "I wanted to be as far away from it as possible in New Zealand," he tells me quietly, a few days before his planned trip.He's taking Paul's passport with him in a touching gesture. "It will feel like he's coming with me anyway, which is what he would have loved as he couldn't do long-haul flights as he got older," he says.
And it helps explain why he doesn't feel strong enough to be alone with his thoughts in the home one year on. "The day he died, we had the most ordinary day," Andre begins. "He always insisted on watching the presenter Sangeeta . He loved her and would never allow me to put the BBC on. It was all about ITV. He left to get some tea, and I heard this loud bang. But because the house is big and old, I didn't think of anything at first."
"The saddest part of this all is that when all of this happened, and as I was trying to resuscitate him, I was trying to keep the dogs out of the room," he explains. "But somehow Paul's dog Arfur, who is one of his favourites, escaped and he nuzzled his face as he always did on Paul's shoulder, as if to say 'wake up'. It was just heartbreaking."
"Just before he died, Paul started painting pictures of lavender on the ceiling of our guest cottage," Andre explains. "He painted one side but to this day, the other side is still unfinished." "I used to say to him that the Lily items were a slice of history but he was always very modest and called them a lot of tat," proud Andre laughs. "I think by the end he was very tired of having to put on all the make-up and all the practical aspects of becoming Lily although he never fully retired her and she kept making comebacks."
"I think probably that's what she loved about him so much, apart from him being so funny of course. I haven't replied to her super-sweet letters yet, as I wasn't sure how to go about it...do I write Dear Camilla or Your Majesty?" Andre laughs. "Maybe on the anniversary of his death I will finally write to her."
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