“How can I make more friends when we’re all being more self-centred?”

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At a time when we’re looking inwards and prioritising ourselves, making new friends as an adult can feel even more daunting.

Freelance writer and sustainability blogger Coralle Skye, 25, joined Bumble BFF in 2019 to “sort of half-heartedly [look] for friends”. But as the pandemic unfolded the app suddenly took a much bigger role. “It stopped me feeling so lonely; it was good to talk to different people.” For Skye, who lives in Hertfordshire and is self-employed, meeting new people can be “quite tricky”, but the app allowed her to engage with people very different from herself, but without the usual pressure.

Hatter agrees that “keeping an open mind” can go a long way when making friends. ”Your friends may not be the same age as you; your friends may not be at the same professional or academic level,” he adds. Staying inquisitive about others will allow for that vital friendship ingredient: intimacy. “The thing about intimacy is that it’s gradual.” So while you may start off with small talk, he recommends that you shouldn’t “assume there isn’t an interesting person” behind it.

Intimacy is gradual, so while you start off with small talk don’t assume there isn’t an interesting person behind it

 

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