Dear Thelma: I'm stuck in an arranged marriage and drawn to colleague

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'I have been seriously contemplating leaving my husband. 'I have spoken out to my colleague of my intention. The problem is, he is a married man of a different race and religion. All I know is I can't be without him.' - Unhappy

Is something bothering you? Do you need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on? Thelma is here to help. Email lifestyle@thestar.com.my or write to Dear Thelma, c/o StarLifestyle, Menara Star, 15, Jalan 16/11,46350 Petaling Jaya, Selangor. Please include your full name, address and a pseudonym. No private correspondence will be entertained.

In 2013, I got promoted with more challenges and responsibility. My children were bigger so I accepted the promotion.In 2015, a new assistant manager joined us. Life changed for me. He made things look easy and achievable. My working life and personal life improved. I was looking forward to each day.

OK, when a marriage doesn't work, and there are kids in the mix, the first obligation is to the children. From your letter, I gather that your kids are in their teens, possibly with the eldest in their late teens.There is no magic formula. Some teens are extremely upset and find themselves severely impacted, while others prefer their parents being open that their relationship isn't working.

Although you were invested while he was working in your company, and you kept in touch afterwards, you do not say how he felt. People who have affairs, emotional or otherwise, often talk about how lovely it would be to be a couple. But reality can be rather different.

 

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Is something bothering you? Do you need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on? Thelma is here to help. Email lifestylethestar.com.my or write to Dear Thelma, c/o StarLifestyle, Menara Star, 15, Jalan 16/11,46350 Petaling Jaya, Selangor. TheStar Malaysia DearThelma

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