that he “had no confidence as a human being”, when he began work with his current therapist five years ago.
The problem is other people don’t know this about us. They can’t read our minds. Just as we can’t read theirs. To simply understand this inherent gap between the way we are all primed to see the world is the key to having more harmonious relationships, says Abrahams. This might sound ridiculous. Your partner keeps coming home late from work, even though you’ve repeatedly asked them not to. So you let rip, “You don’t give a crap about me!” Or your staff member continually fails to complete the to-do list you’ve given them. And so forth.
“If you don’t know you’re feeling anxious when your partner is coming home late, how will you even know what to express to your partner?” says Burckhardt. “[But if you do, and you express it] the person can go, ‘Oh my god. I’m so sorry you felt left alone. Actually, I was just working really hard because I want to give you that holiday you keep talking about.
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