The most wonderful time of the year? It’s definitely the busiest

This is the week of the to-do list. Christmas is a minute away and most of the jobs are still to be done. On every kitchen bench there’s a scribbled list of disparate tasks. At what other time of year would you find, on the same piece of paper, the words: “Whipper-snipper path”, “Finish remaining jobs at work” and “Repair fraught relationship with Aunt Sylvia before she turns up on Christmas Day”?

Only in the southern hemisphere does the start of the long summer holiday coincide with the mayhem of Christmas.Buying the presents, baking the Christmas cake, decorating the tree – these are all activities designed to provide a bit of physical exercise and distraction at a point when the whole nation is in danger of slipping into hibernation.

What if Australia had invented Christmas traditions, suited to our weather? Would Europeans sit in a snowstorm eating cold prawns? Three weeks to go, and we must locate the boogie boards and the sun-brollies and “summer reading” paperbacks for the beach holiday ahead. This is as we also attempt to complete the 17 jobs which, back in October, we promised our boss would be “Oh, totally finished before the end of the year, no chance they won’t be”.

The chef will emerge from the kitchen, which has now reached the temperature of an iron ore smelter, dripping with perspiration. The only consolation: at least the furry Santa hat is serving like a sweatband.

rgloveroz Slow news day.... Ages since you were a real newspaper.

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