The hardest thing about modern sports games? Navigating EA’s customer support

am very grateful for my dual nationality right now. The horror of Scotland’s dour Euro 2024 performance has been tempered by a swashbuckling Canada in their first everfinal for only the third time in 18 years: the Edmonton Oilers, a team so utterly Canadian they have a fossil fuel as a name.

So I go back to the start. Get the basics down in Free Skate. Then up to wonderful a 1v1v1 mode where three of you shoot into the same goal in an assortment of conveniently snowbound locations. This is definitely the best place to start to learn individual skills, crucial in a game where it’s ludicrously easy to create scoring chances, but actually putting them away is like threading a needle. With a puck. While sliding. And getting hit.

I get too cocky and try my first trick deke move, lose possession, the Hawk takes the puck and a mascot scores on me. A mascot! And they get TWO POINTS! Why? Because apparently we were playing with the MONEY PUCK, which is rhyming slang for what I was shouting at the screen. But I put in the hours, and soon I am winning mascots to play on MY team too. And it’s fun!

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