My partner wants to celebrate his birthday by doing nothing and I’m appalled

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How can he not want a party? Is it possible that he just hates fun?

My partner is about to celebrate a birthday, the first milestone birthday of our relationship. I don’t wish to violate his privacy by sharing how old he is, so let’s just say that I only turned 50, five short years ago, and he is way, way older than me. And as his big day approaches, my head has been swirling with party themes, guest lists, gift ideas and the extremely touching speech I will give at the festivities.special day, and he gets to choose how he will celebrate.

Birthdays have always been important to me. All milestones are! Life is short, and it can be challenging at best and intensely difficult at worst, and I believe we should celebrate the good stuff whenever we can. I want cards and I want gifts and I want a carrot cupcake with cream-cheese icing and I want a nap in the afternoon.Except … not that selfless. Because – rather less altruistically – I’m also the type of person who wants attention on my special day. My birthday still feels like a really big deal, even after all these years.

A day of unadulterated leisure isn’t always possible, but I have had some special birthday moments over the years. There was the party in 2003 when I wore a tiny skirt, and we danced in my lounge room for hours. There was the picnic lunch with my closest friends in 2021, when we were just emerging from lockdown and it was so exciting to be together again.

 

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