‘It felt like a job application’: the people weeding out first dates with questionnaires

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Some app users are sending out surveys to screen potential suitors. But can a pop quiz ever lead to love?

about the encounter, joking that dating in 2023 had come to this, though many women replied that they did not blame his match for asking.Later, Stewart went back to the Hinge match, and asked her why she required what felt like “a job application” to date her.

So, it didn’t work out. But Stewart is far from the first man who has been asked to undergo some screening before moving a conversation from dating apps to real life. An increasing number of people are using forms or scripted questions on dates to weed out romantic time-wasters.Photograph: Aamir Qureshi/AFP/Getty Imagesfound that in 2022, “stances on social issues could make or break a match”. About 75% of singles required their partners to be “respectful of or invested in social issues”.

Kennedy, a 26-year-old Taylor Swift fan from Vancouver, also made her own Google Form to combat pandemic-era loneliness. “I figured if I was going to risk getting sick, at least it should be with someone who was worth getting to know,” she said. . The study behind the questions, by the psychologist Arthur Aron, explored how asking strangers a series of personal questions can accelerate intimacy.. Their inquiries were a bit more intense than the ones posed by Stewart’s match.

“The vast majority of my videos are about questions you should ask yourself, or a first date, or a second date, or a long-term partner, and I feel like I’ve created a monster,” Guenther said. “I’m like, oh my fucking God, what have I done?” Guenther said. “When you make something into HR, that’s so unsexy.”

As a couples counselor, Guenther sees the harm that comes when people fall in love too quickly without asking each other the make-or-break questions. “People will find out things they don’t like about their partners too late, because they’re so attached and in love with that person,” he said. “They’ll be together for years, and then find out someone is wishy-washy on having kids when they really want them.

 

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One point in this article is incorrect. The 36 questions that lead to love were not to 'weed people out' but to create intimacy. Very different to a 'vetting' style type of list. Love arrives, in its own time, in its own way... it's not the same as applying for a job.

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