I stopped lying to please people – and I’ve never felt more free

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Radical honesty isn’t for the faint-hearted, but it’s one of the greatest joys I’ve ever discovered, says author Radhika Sanghani

never used to think of myself as a liar. I always saw myself as an honest person. The only time I’d ever veer from the truth was to protect someone’s feelings. But that wasn’t reallyAnd then I had a therapy session, where I realised that all of this was actually people-pleasing behaviour and it turned out I was a prolific liar.

As a stunt performer, I lived on the edge of danger – but I had to step back from the precipice | Janine Parkinsonwhat they wanted to hear, and I never had done at all. Because more often than not, I’d cancel on friends and instead of being disappointed, they’d be thrilled, replying: “Oh great, I wasn’t feeling up to it either!”

But slowly, people began to express their gratitude for my newfound honesty. I’ll never forget the first time a friend thanked me for it: “I feel so safe in our friendship because I don’t have to second guess anything. I know if I’ve upset you, you’ll just tell me!” That was when I truly saw what I’d been denying myself in all those years of lying: the chance to be accepted for who I am. My friends wouldn’t leave me if I told the truth – they’d simply trust me.

 

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