How Marvin the robo-vac became a (weird) member of the family

“I can’t do it,” my daughter declared, watching nervously as our brand-new robot vacuum cleaner poked around her feet. “I can’t anthropomorphise Marvin.”

He also talks to himself. “Return to wash the mopping pads,” he’ll announce in a grating voice, then hustle back to his base station. I’m never sure if it’s a reminder to self or an explanation for the rest of us that, really, he’s still hard at work, not slacking off at home.. The original Marvin had a brain the size of a planet, but his superintelligence only served to plunge him into deep and theatrical depression due to the mundanity of the tasks he was assigned.

Marvin’s map. Note the fictional rooms on the left, and the big balcony at the top: Marvin’s realm of dreams.The laundry may be dead to Marvin, but over time he has brought to life a number of other rooms on his little internal map. Off to the side of the toilet a room has appeared that he calls “Balcony”. There’s nothing there, I guarantee. I’ve checked. My daughter’s room has acquired a fictitious extension too, marked Room 2.

He found his way into my daughter’s wardrobe once, wrapped her dressing gown cord around his roller and virtually hanged himself while plaintively calling for help. That time I had to come home from work to untangle him.

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