When a serious relationship broke up in my early 30s, I started to give some thought to single motherhood. My relationship was over, my career was a mess and I didn’t know what the future held. I was thinking about starting my own business but I was worried about the family I had always wanted.
I had been an MD of my previous company for five years before going out on my own, I had the relevant experience and I was financially stable but none of that mattered. By 38, I knew that biological clock would not last forever; my GP showed me a sobering chart of fertility rates after 40 and I knew it was now or never. I started IVF in January 2016 and the twins were born two months premature in November 2016.
Like all mothers, I feel a constant guilt. Am I present enough, am I on my phone too much, do we have enough quality time? But more and more I feel these are the pressures I put on myself based on ridiculous standards of "having it all".
There is no greater indicator for determining whether a child will go on to produce desirable societal and personal contributions and outcomes than the presence of both a mother and a father in the home. Beware the femherald’s constant narrative.
Mothers that love their children and working hard for her family. Thats okay.
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