'Worried I'd be punished by God': Ditch the toxic guilt and inner castigator

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Susan Carrell, counsellor and author of Escaping Toxic Guilt, says there are two types of guilt: Good or empathetic guilt that tells you right from wrong, and negative or toxic guilt that can cause depression and anxiety.

Getty ImagesWomen are their own worst critics, and this sort of self-judgement often leads directly to feelings of guilt. Constantly get"the guilts" over little things? Perhaps it's time to flush out the bad feelings.

Picture this: It's midnight and the whole house is silent. That is, except for the sound of you tip-toeing to the fridge for a sneaky late-night Tim Tam or three. You've given in to sweet temptation, but with each tasty bite a less-than-delicious feeling settles in your stomach – guilt.We all get the guilts at times, whether it's over a chocolate indulgence, bailing on plans with a friend or buying a new dress instead of paying that overdue phone bill.

Ever noticed that while you beat yourself up over little things, your boyfriend or brother doesn't? Turns out, women are hardwired to feel this way. In a recent study, subjects were presented with scenarios designed to provoke guilt, and the participants who felt the most intense reactions were younger females. Researchers believe this is because they're programmed to feel more empathy for others and because they have a stronger tendency towards anxiety than men, making them more likely to experience toxic guilt.

 

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