Shifting from toxic to positive masculinity

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Teaching young men to not ignore their feelings, embrace vulnerability, and strive for mental health .

ByWill Smith hits Chris Rock as Rock spoke on stage during the 94th Academy Awards in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California.When Will Smith walked onto the stage at this year’s Oscar ceremony and slapped Chris Rock in the face, he did so in a show of masculine aggression in retaliation for a joke Rock had made about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. Tapping into the uglier side of masculinity, Smith seemed compelled to assert and showcase his manhood by meeting the occasion with violence.

The notion that Smith was “protecting” his wife was viewed by many as a noble act, as evidenced by the standing ovation he received during and after his speech. This was toxic masculinity on display in full view of the entire world, and for the most part it seemed to be viewed as heroic.

She explains that there’s a lot of indoctrination around men’s perceived superiority — a perception that is strengthened by biblical references, for example. Dubois says young men who are conditioned to believe that toxic masculinity is essential in order to get ahead usually do get ahead at some point in their early adult lives, but later in life there is a backlash effect that leads to depression and isolation.

He told me he couldn’t see himself in the passenger seat for no other reason than that he viewed it as emasculating.For instance, I’ve been guilty of using the phrase “no homo” after making a comment that I felt was overly sentimental or “soft” to one of my male friends. I’ve always been hyper masculine and competitive, and that phrase is commonly used in hip hop to shore up a perception of masculinity.

The goal should be to strive for conditions in which masculinity is healthier and doesn’t contribute to violence, sexual abuse, and other unhealthy traits.

 

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