SATIRICALLY SPEAKING: Gwede Mantashe is right, Eskom 2.0 is our only option for the future

  • 📰 dailymaverick
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 36 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 18%
  • Publisher: 84%

South Africa Headlines News

South Africa Latest News,South Africa Headlines

If it is to work, Eskom 2.0 must harness the energy of our great politicians, who are by far some of the most electric beings on the planet. This is the only way forward for our country.

Never mind the 2,000 watts that could be generated by sprinting, the energy generated by the mental gymnastics it takes to tweet as Helen Zille could provide enough power to charge the nation’s smartphones for a whole week. Although she no longer dances and twistsAnd of course, there’s the man himself, our, Gwede Mantashe; a walking, breathing energy storage system if there ever was one. The watts of Ubunergy® that are stored in his body would make rolling blackouts a thing of the past.

Even would-be batteries that once showed great potential, such as the Maimanes and De Lilles, could be tested to see if they have a few hundred watts in them to power our televisions during rolling blackouts. Who knows, plug them into Generator Mantashe and they might surprise us and turn out to be a rechargeable Ubunergy® source?

Personally, as I have recently moved to a cute hamlet in the Eastern Cape where blackouts are no match for our usual days-long power outages, my energy needs go far beyond those of urban South Africans. Hence, if I could choose my own Ubunergy® source, I would truly appreciate it if I could request Lindiwe Sisulu as my renewable rechargeable battery.

Source: Energy Industry News (energyindustrynews.net)

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 3. in ZA

South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

'Reforms will accelerate the end of load-shedding': Eskom welcomes measures to resolve electricity crisisEskom has welcomed the announcement by President Cyril Ramaphosa on measures to resolve the electricity crisis. Same WhatsApp group Cyril Ramaphosa his mandate is to sell all SOE's just to please his handlers We are led by an incompetent leader who doesn't care about the future of this nation (demagogue) I am super excited right now, I can now pay my bills and take good care of my family.. Thank you for bringing happiness to my home with just R10,000 i got R100,000 in 7days James_Alderson8
Source: TimesLIVE - 🏆 28. / 59 Read more »

Ramaphosa’s energy plan will boost power generation industry: Eskom
Source: ewnupdates - 🏆 30. / 53 Read more »

Eskom hopeful that Ramaphosa's reforms will end load shedding | The CitizenEskom says Ramaphosa's plans will ease South Africa's power generation constraints
Source: TheCitizen_News - 🏆 6. / 75 Read more »

What Eskom says is ‘most pleasing’ about Ramaphosa’s new energy reformsEskom will on an urgent basis in the next three months accelerate efforts to add new generation capacity to its faltering grid.
Source: BusinessTechSA - 🏆 24. / 61 Read more »

Eskom promises more maintenance to improve plant performanceEskom has welcomed President Cyril Ramaphosa’s efforts to liberalise the energy sector, saying it will give the utility the space to increase maintenance.
Source: TechCentral - 🏆 8. / 71 Read more »

People are stealing Eskom dryTheft and corruption have been rife at Eskom and slow progress is being made in bringing perpetrators to book.
Source: mybroadband - 🏆 11. / 67 Read more »