Insensitive comments, long queues at police stations, interminable court cases and the secondary trauma of testifying are cited among the reasons why women do not report rape.This week has been one of the crappiest weeks I've had as a woman in SA and it's all because once more, the sad reality of SA's lack of understanding where consent is concerned is just heartbreaking.
Conversations in real life and online over these two “incidents” have left me deeply shocked by the blatant disregard for women, their bodies and their feelings. The one thing I know for sure needs to happen is serious conversations around consent and what it really means.permission to do something, especially given by someone in authority” or “agreement about something”.I heard shocking remarks from men and women who felt that the woman should have said no before meeting the person at a hotel.
I was also hit with, “What if the girl is just bitter?” and “Why did she wait so long to say something?” To this I say, until you are a victim or areyou would seldom understand why it takes a victim the time it takes them to say anything about the abuse they've endured. The discussion around how the law and later judicial processes treat victims versus perpetrators is a discussion I'll shelve for another day.
It's very scary that so many guys have this way of thinking... 'she's just playing hard to get, her no means yes/try harder'. We really need to talk about consent 🙌
I concur,some man tend to not hear no from a woman.
Until you get accused of rape.
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